Dazed & (not so) Confused: A Contemporary Sex Survey

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Recently (September 2014), Dazed (a digital arts and culture magazine) published the results from their large scale (114 countries, 10,500 participants) sex survey exploring:

“What you want, who you want and how you do it from the screen to the bedroom.”

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Suspending my need for scientific rigor, there are some fascinating findings from the study, which focused primarily on today’s youth, dubbed, generation swipe:

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  • Men are twice as likely to lie about their identity online.
  • 50% of us send naked selfies, but if you like sex when you’re high, or have had sex with more than one person in a day, you’re notably more likely.
    • 40% of you like having sex on drugs, and 36% have had sex with more than one person in a day. If you’re that way inclined, you’re more likely to be the type to send over a naked picture to a significant other

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  • Gay men use apps to get laid will surprise no one, but still, the numbers were striking – more than 50% primarily use apps to hook up, compared with the heterosexual 10%.
  • 28% of Americans felt that technology made their sex lives more neurotic, less erotic.

PORN

  • Consumption and viewing of porn has been transformed:
    • 25% of respondents never watch pornography, 59% watch it one to five times a week, and 16% six or more times.
    • While the majority of women indulge at least once a week, only 4% do so six or more times a week, compared with 60% of men who watch it nearly every day or more.

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“Straight women’s consumption of lesbian porn outstrips men’s: only gay or bisexual women watch more girl-on-girl. The fact that twice as many girls chose “other” as their favorite porn type than guys, for example, suggests that mainstream porn does not cater for women’s needs as well as it does their male equivalents.”

  • >50% of all respondents have never had sex on camera, 34% have: about two thirds of this group regarded it as positive experience which they’d like to repeat, and 9% of all respondents – said they would never do it again.

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HEALTH

  • 44% use protection all the time, 46% some of time, 10% never.
    • Gay men are the most careful demographic, with half always using a condom, and less than 5% saying never, the lowest of any demographic.
    • Gay women, alternatively, use protection the least, with over two thirds never using protection, and under 20% using it always.

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LOVE

  • 1 in 5 of us see polyamory as the perfect set-up.
    • Straight guys are bigger fans of multiple-partner relationships than straight girls.
  • Bisexual people of both genders are least likely to identify with monogamy as the perfect domestic set-up, and the most likely to favour a poly relationship.
  • 8% say that love is “everything”, while 32% said that it meant nothing.
  • A resounding 75% said that sex was important or very important, with only 3% saying it was unimportant.
    • sex was more essential to women than men – with more gay and bisexual women rating it as “important or very important” than their male counterparts.

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While we can wonder about confounding factors, or the soundness of the study design, etc…we cannot discount the interesting nature of some of these findings or the fact that they reflect some real shifts in our sexual realities…some good, some not so much…but, overall it’s striking (and pleasing) to see that we are becoming much more open and accepting when it comes to variant sexual expressions and our responsible enjoyment of…it ALL! 😉 xxx Dr. NymphoBrainiac.

When it Comes to Selling Sex…America Fails

Earlier this week the Canadian company PornHub presented their finalists for their American ad campaign, and to be honest I was unimpressed:

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Aside from the few cute visual representations of masturbation habits in today’s western culture…the finalist submissions…were overly vague…and not at all sexy, in my opinion.

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I mean porn is supposed to be sexy, right? Or at the very least indicative of the erotic…

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These felt…cold and slightly glib…one was overtly sexist and insinuating violence towards women (Yes, I get the joke, it just wasn’t that funny):

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I mean is this a rap video? What are we selling here? Children’s toys? Rape? I AM CONFUSED.

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Because according to this…women don’t watch porn and hate it when their boyfriends/male partners do…huh?

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And did you know that masturbating to porn on Pornhub is parallel to being a hipster?!?

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I got you though, it’s all about self love, right?

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And being a pervert…Values I can grasp and really hold onto!

Still, overall I thought these ads were a fail and was disappointed. If the media at large thinks we Americans are this dull and misogynistic when it comes to sex (and maybe by and large we are)…how does the media overseas understand their consumer base? The simple answer is: with A LOT MORE HUMOR…

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and a bit of crassness…

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in that fabulously dry British way…

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Charmingly naughty, I would say.

Further, I the found ads for the Japanese store Condomania to be creative and to the point (something lacking in the American ads):

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Listen, of course I understand that this is media’s take on our sexuality…and it’s as much a product of regulation and consumerism as it is a reflection of culture…but, I can’t help but think…we could have done better with this America…we could have done better:

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Have a great Holiday weekend, xxx dr.c.

(Images supplied by: Panda Life Studios)

Before You Send that XXX-selfie, Consider THIS…

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I often blog about the fun and kinky aspects around sex and sexual expression/exploration; however, in the wake of more public cases involving a disgruntled ex- posting/exposing on social media a past lover’s nude and compromising photos and video (dubbed “revenge porn”) I wanted to address the more serious side of sex.

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Several states in the US have initiated “revenge porn” policies after the first case of its kind was brought to NY Criminal Court (People vs. Barber)by a woman who alleged that her boyfriend sent pictures of her naked body to her sister and her employer. The ex-boyfriend was arrested and charged with aggravated harassment, dissemination of unlawful surveillance and public display of offensive sexual material. However, the defendant was never charged for his actual crime. “WHY?” You ask, well…currently, New York has no law that specifically proscribes this “revenge porn” conduct. California has introduced such a bill; however, it does NOT include “selfies”…which is a major flaw…Think about how much of what you send your lover, by way of intimate shots is in fact a “selfie”.

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The law, in its current form, therefore does not fully protect its intended victims.

Something to consider…before you hit… “send”…xxx dr.c.

A Naughty Poem 4 Your HUMP-DAY

The Battle

She dreams of

Tattoos, girls and shiny guns

But in her life

Jesus is a brand name

Her mind is

A movie of naughty fun

But her life

Keeps her free from blame

She wants

To be so Christian good

She wants

All that’s ‘demonly bad’

Wants to be

Everything she should

She wants all

The porno her mother had

Flashy dancer

And loud

There to be seen

-Mitulsa (online)

Enjoy it…dirty! xxx c.

What’s in a Name? (Part II: Charly Carlyle)

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It was my first full-length “film”…and the night before shooting, at “rehearsal”, my produced asked me, “What name would you like to be billed under?” It seemed at once the most simplistic and most complex of questions.

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How much of “myself” did I want associated with these projects?

How important was this name?

Would I be forever associated with this name?

A name is a fairly important concept, even one that is “made up” or rather especially one that is made up! In the end I went with a classic formula, and left it to my personal history to dictate the name that would forever be associated with my work in the adult film industry.

The name Charly Carlyle originated in the same manner that many of the best names in the adult film industry have:

  1. What is the name of your first pet: Charlie (the German Shepard)
  2. What is the name of the street you grew up on: Carlisle

Combine fact with a little creativity, and a hint at my given name and voila! = PORN STAR STATUS!

It is true that I have played a doctor in my films…

So…sometimes a name represents an aspect of ourselves, a piece…to me Charly Carlyle represents an important process, a necessary process…and very much a part of who I am even if it’s not a comprehensive representation…I think THAT is just too much to ask from a name!

xxx

conchita.

Supporting Artists: An Art Collector is BORN!

A few evenings ago I attended a Charity event at Beauty Bar in NYC.

Not only did I get a complimentary glass of Chardonnay AND a kick-ass mani (day 4 and it’s still not even chipped), but I was able to view the work of some very talented erotic artists, whose work spanned both coasts.

The event, co-organized and hosted by Joanna Angel of Burning Angel (www.burningangel.com — a site dedicated to alt porn and sex-positive erotic projects), benefited porn star Jessie Lee in her recovery from a debilitating recent car accident.

There were live erotic performances.

A naugthy MC.

And general sexual tension in the air.

Still, the cause was kept in mind and everyone was encouraged to purchase displayed the art…sold at very reasonable prices.

I have ALWAYS wanted to buy art, support the talented; but I ALWAYS hesitate:

“One day, when I have enough money, for extra stuff like that.”

Art collectors are rich people, not young-ish struggling creative types like me…Yet, I always find myself admiring friends’ collections of variant art…from all price-ranges…and so, I made the decision:

This was MY night to start MY (humble) COLLECTION.

I chose this piece by, Viva Van Story (www.vivapinups.com)

Mostly because she reminded me a bit of me, that night…all 50’s pinup…with a naughty-coquettish look-it felt like the right place to start.

I am VERY pleased with my purchase and happy to support Ms. Van Story’s work as she is quite an interestingly beautiful  character herself.

There once was a time when images of women were filled with secrets and mystery, intrigue and enticement. A sideways glance, the trailing smoke of a slender cigarette, a whisper of danger on cherry red lips. Photographer Viva Van Story takes us back to the days of gun molls and garters with her stunning collection of vintage-inspired imagery. Ms. Van Story eschews the modern-day trend of in-your-face sexual explicitness, instead harkening back to an era where tease and suggestion reigned supreme. Her timeless images range from smoldering seduction to coquettish playfulness.

And so…that is my story…my first piece of artwork ever bought…and the beginning of what I hope will be a vast and varied collection. I must encourage you to act in-kind, artists need one thing (that we non-artists) can give, to enable them to keep creating…MONEY and exposure…I can do that, so can YOU!

xxx c.