Sex Makes You Healthier (as if you needed another excuse)

(Via Second to None Nutrition on Facebook)

***Having sex is good to your ‪#‎muscles‬***

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10 health benefits of sex you need to know

1 . Having sex relieves headaches. Every time you make love , it releases the tension in the veins of the brain.

2 . A lot of sex can clear the stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine . It helps to fight against asthma and spring allergies .

3 . Making love is a spectacular beauty treatment. Scientists have discovered that when a woman has sex , it produces a large amount of estrogen that gives shine and softness to hair.

4 . Sex is one of the safest sports. Make love often strengthens the muscles of male and female body. It’s more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps in the pool and there is not need special shoes!

5 . Make love slowly , smoothly and in a relaxed way reduces the chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and acne . The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow .

6 . Lovemaking can burn all the ‪#‎calories‬ you have accumulated during the romantic dinner before bedtime.

7 . Sex is a divine remedy for depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream , creating a state of euphoria and leaving women and men with the feeling of being unique.

8 . Sex is the tranquilizer and muscle relaxant to a safer world . It is a thousand times more effective than Valium .

9 . Sexually active body releases more pheromones. .

10 . Kissing each day will keep you more time away from the dentist . Kissing is an art which makes the cleaner teeth and saliva reduces the amount of acid that causes tooth decay . This prevention eliminates many problems , in addition to offering a breath constantly renewed!

Thought it was worth a Friday #reblog

Enjoy the weekend, xxx dr.c.

What is a “Real” Woman? – A Ballerina Who Transcends Type

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I posted a photo of a model-ballerina yesterday, on my Facebook page, by the name of Aline Riscado (model/dancer/bodybuilder).

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She is quite muscular and curvy, which takes nothing away from her talent as an athlete and artist or her obvious beauty as a latin woman.

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What struck me was her non-ballerina-like body, proving that pre-determined definitions off “type” can be transcended. What disturbed me were comments like, “Well her ass is fake!”…Does it REALLY matter?

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We are clearly not talking about extreme or disfiguring surgical changes here to the point of inhuman proportion…and…Yes, I understand the complexities of plastic surgery from a feminist perspective; yes, I get that in many ways it perpetuates objectification…HOWEVER, I also understand that it is a personal decision and SHAMING a woman for individual choices made about her own body is detrimental as it only reinforces objectification of self.

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It would be nice to accept a woman, as she presents herself with or without “fake parts”…because believe you me…SHE IS ALL *REAL* WOMAN…NO MATTER WHAT!

xxx dr.c.

Enjoy Aline in action here (below)…her workout is crazy:

 

 

Shame is a soul eating emotion.

“Shame is a soul eating emotion.”

C.G. Jung

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During my time as a psychotherapist, “shame” remained a permeating theme among my patients…one that I also readily related to. Shame is all too often connected to sex, gender, and social status…it is a state of suffering (I would argue) imposed by society (“how others see me”) and not necessarily an inherent mental state.

As a woman who has spend a great deal of my adult life exploring sexuality, shame is not an emotion I am unfamiliar with…although it’s never been a guiding (or rather hindering) force. For me, shame has crept in when I have been far too attuned to the opinions of others and not when I was simply exploring desires…that, to me, felt quite innocent and authentic. So herein lies the paradox (so articulately stated by another, whose post I happened upon today on Facebook):

Can innocence and shame coexist, or are they mutually exclusive experiences?

I remember masturbating as a young girl, maybe age nine or so, I truly had no idea what sex even meant aside from seductive images gleaned from rated R movies; I was simply doing what felt “good”. At some point prior I must have been “given” the idea that sex was “naughty”…but even still I engaged in this act, which I would now consider innocent…and yet, I quite distinctly recall feeling shameful at the time;

It was bad, no…I was bad! 

This, and similar experiences,  have certainly influenced how I now feel about sex, as an adult…how could it not? Although I would counter that, even today, as experimental and “wild” as some would consider my sexual choices…I still feel an innocence about my desires. I understand and acknowledge the judgment that others may or may not attribute to my actions; however, I don’t feel particularly inhibited by that judgment. Perhaps, it’s possible to acknowledge the shame that society imbues and yet not to become a victim of it. Maybe…it’s possible, even as an adult who experiences shame, to be an innocent explorer in the world of sexuality.

I hope so….no, I know so.

xxx

conchita

Do Women NEED to Cum?

Oh, women and our orgasms…perhaps, one of the most over-strived-for and under-appreciated experiences in our lives…males, female, self, other…WE WOMEN WANT TO CUM! But here is the real question:

Do we NEED to cum?

Yesterday I wrote a post about masturbation as an exercise in mindfulness, which really got me thinking about…well, about cumming. Later that day I came upon (you know it’s punny) a quote by the vivacious and voracious Mae West:

“An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.”

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I posted this quote on Facebook as I often post semi-provocative sentiments to see what sparks people and in this case the ladies were indeed sparked (the exchange follows below). While there were the expected comments about how and when to cum, there was an interesting split between the psychological benefits of orgasm versus the physiological, which got me thinking…I don’t even have to look to know there is a plethora of scientific research our there providing evidence as to the mental and physical health benefits of orgasms, just like I don’t need to look in a stats book to know that statistics are incorrect 40% of the time. So, rather than bore you with numbers from studies that have a clear agendas,  I thought I would speak from personal experience…(you all tend to prefer that anyway).

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As I have previously discussed, for me orgasms from masturbation represent a form of release that leads to an increased level of focus; they are simple to achieve and result in the release of tension, serotonin kicks-in and chills me out so that I may continue to write/work/think etc. The psychological benefit is clear. However the physiological benefit is less evident, granted I am sure that mechanisms of action are occurring beneath my level of consciousness (I am somehow increasing my lifespan by orgasming), but my immediate impression is often: I am a bit raw, and messy, and my muscles feel stiff…I honestly don’t feel that stellar, body-wise.

Whereas, if I orgasm from SEX…the experience seems to be reversed.

Typically, as we know, sex takes a bit more precursor than masturbation (not always, but at least a little forethought is needed)…and that requires some form of psychological application: feelings, thoughts, considerations…it’s not just you, after all. And all of these expectations can, and often do, create tension:

“Am I cumming? Are you cumming? are we cumming…together?”

However, if the psychological benefits of sex lag behind the immediate gratification of masturbation, then the physiological payoff is much…bigger! Unlike the sore messy state that masturbating so often leaves me in, sex has the benefit of simultaneously exhausting and relaxing every muscle in my body. Maybe it’s the flood of adrenalin or dopamine or whatever, acting as natural pain killers, but after sex I physically feel NOTHING. Yes yes, so maybe I’m a little sore but by then I’ve passed-out asleep so it doesn’t really matter…and sleep…well I can just about guarantee I will not wake up until the morning, that is unless you wake me up.

Perhaps, sex is a case of physical satisfaction and benefit leading to the psychological: “I simply no longer care…about anything!”

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And so here we are full circle,

Do women need to cum?

And my answer, as a learned clinician is: Yes…often and in every way possible in order to ensure our psychological and physical health.

xxx Dr. Conchita.

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A Wet Wednesday…PRE-WARNING: NYC Vibe-Giveaway!

In the interest of giving you nymphobrainiacs a heads-up…tomorrow Trojan is giving away 10,000 vibes across the city!

I can’t vouch for its functionality…I have yet to try these “over-the-counter” vibes I’ve spied as I wait to pick up my birth control script…but with a well known name and a $35 price tag, this lil-thang must get the job done at the very least!

As per Trojan on Facebook, we will have to check back to tomorrow when the secret locals will be revealed…I don’t know about you, but I will definitely be there…

“Free Orgasms! FREE ORGASMS FOR SALE!!!”

I’ll save you a spot on line…xxx c.

Hey Facebook: ‘Fuck You!’ (or Happy HumpDay)

This is my friend…showing us her “Hump Day” humor, and yes she is cheeky and sexy and smart…all of the things that attract, but her post brought something else to my attention:

The power of expression,

and more to the point:

The power of expression in social media.

It likely comes at no surprise to you that for me social media represents both a means of expression as well as a vehicle towards real human connection. That said, social media recently has proven it’s breadth of communication, but has yet to offer evidence as to it’s true depth. Reading snippets of stories, reactions, opinions, images…they all flash through our timelines so quickly that we barely have the opportunity to process them. What are the implications of processing information like this? Errors in communication seem inevitable and yet I have also been witness to thoughtful, subjective, and critical articulations to very difficult issues.

The question then, is not one of the use or misuse of “power” in social media…influence we ALL share…rather it is the willingness of responsibility:

If I post/tweet/write this, I will then listen and respond to others’ reactions.

Too much to ask?

Too much to ask.

I suppose in the end, it’s best to keep social media in it’s place:

A means of communication.

Rather than make it out to be more than it is…

Because in reality (mine? or yours?), Meli’s “middle finger,” may indicate:

“Fuck you,” or

“Fuck ME!“…

We’ll just never know. And hey, that’s okay right? Just as long as you’re still my “friend.”

🙂 xxx c.