Portrait of a NymphoBrainiac #2: Audrey Love

Audrey Love. – NYC/LA Model/Pin Up/Dancer/Designer.

I have known this fierce nymph for a while now, and watching her evolve has been a great pleasure. From a girl with a head-full-of-dreams, to a woman actually manifesting those wishes…her quiet beauty and gentle poise are enough to topple hearts and intrigue even the most hardened cynic.

When I asked her for an interview (via text, actually) on her thoughts, feelings, and interests regarding sex, she hesitated, “trying to find the words.” Part of her hesitation was that she felt that there were so many “kinks” and “connections,” to explore that she felt unable to answer from a place of knowing, which made me question:

Do we ever REALLY know what we’re “all about” when it comes to sex?

When I look back on my own sexual life-experiences I wonder if there is any real discernible pattern. Certainly not from the outside looking in, but to me…it’s been a many-layered kaleidoscope, an evolution that (oddly) seems to have taken me right back to where I started…but I digress…

“Where I started”…sounds eerily familiar to where my young friend is today:

The acknowledgement of the self as a sexually powerful creature and yet, not quite knowing what to do with that power…that, desire.

Oh, What to Do…with that feeling of being split-off or separated from your unfocused sexual potential, your unrequited desire.

Perhaps, our sexuality is best understood as a mirrored-self.

mirror_audrey

A self of exploration, an experiential or felt-self.

Well, Audrey…your journey as a NymphoBrainiac has just begun…and as my sexual-self smiles knowingly and winks back at yours, she says:

“I’ll see you on the other side, my Love…”

xxx, Dr.NB

(Photo taken by me with a Nikon D5500 at Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, Sakura Matsuri 2017)

 

Portrait of a NymphoBrainiac: #1 Memento Mori

This post marks the beginning of a new series: Portraits of NymphoBrainiacs; combining unique portraiture with the subjects thoughts on sex. As a reminder, a NymphoBrainiac is anyone who has an interest in the exploration of sensuality and/or sex…as a mindful act.

And so we begin, together…sharing our explorations with open hearts, curious senses, and hungry minds.

The Question:

What interests you most about sex?

NymphoBrainaic: Memento Mori

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Sex, and myself as a sexual being, was traumatic and depersonalized for a large part of my adolescence and young adulthood. Nevertheless I was fascinated, obsessed even, with sex as a purely physical act. But, only anonymously, only as an objectification and degradation. My only understanding of physical intimacy was degradation and pain, so those were patterns i continued to look for. For a long time I couldn’t reconcile my physical body with myself the psychologically sexual being, which naturally lead to some very dark very abusive places. But then in college not only did I move away from my comfort zone physically I started learning more about philosophy. And, I met some really amazing women who gave me a safe space and encouraged me to explore not only my body but my sensuality without judgment, with love and support and tenderness. Ironically, or not, through sex and sexual expression I was able to reclaim those parts of myself that had been stolen. I started becoming a whole human being which culminated in being able choose to share intimate self with another on my own terms, without feeling afraid or absent or abused. For me, the most interesting thing about sex is its transformative properties. That it can be profound creation or destruction and often to some degree both. Now, my interests have continued to develop to explore sex as sacred, as ritual, as magic.

It has always struck me that those who are most interested in the erotic, as adults, often also have histories of abuse. Their journey is a difficult one, fraught with struggle, but their sensual truth…when they come to it…is so truly authentic, unapologetically so. Perhaps it is because they have experienced destruction…and have now, mindfully, chosen to cultivate creation from their pain…a sensual transformation from death into life.

What A beautiful first. 

Thank you, MM.

If you are interested in participating in this project, please contact me!

Psychopathia Sexualis & Early Erotic Photography

Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) was a German-Austrian psychiatrist and early sexologist, whose book Psychopathia Sexualis: eine Klinisch-Forensische Studie, first published in 1886 (and translated into English in 1892), became a great influence within the emerging study of sexology. The book, which Krafft-Ebing continued to expand throughout twelve editions until his death, is a scientific […]

via “Strange Photos.” — Old Guv Legends

Fearless Heart

I became interested in mudras about a year or two ago, when I started my yoga practice.

If you’re wondering…

Mudras are physical hand (and finger or body)  gestures or seals, used in meditation, martial arts, and in yoga, that connect us to the energy pathways of our chakras, our organs, and to our emotional states.

And while all that may sound like a bit of  “woo woo”,  mudras have been used at least since antiquity (1500 BCE) and conceivably even in prehistoric religious practice (70,000 BCE), so we can rest easily that their usefulness has been tested.

Wikipedia has this to say about mudras:

A mudra (Listeni/muˈdrɑː/; Sanskritमुद्रा, “seal”, “mark”, or “gesture”; Tibetan: ཕྱག་རྒྱ་THLchakgya) is a symbolic or ritual gesture in Hinduism and Buddhism.[1] While some mudras involve the entire body, most are performed with the hands and fingers.[2] A mudrā is a spiritual gesture and an energetic seal of authenticity employed in the iconography and spiritual practice of Indian religions.

One hundred and eight mudras are used in regular Tantric rituals.[3]

In yoga, mudras are used in conjunction with pranayama (yogic breathing exercises), generally while seated in Padmasana, Sukhasana or Vajrasana pose, to stimulate different parts of the body involved with breathing and to affect the flow of prana in the body.

Even if you’ve never done yoga, you are probably familiar with the chin mudra…which has become a kind of symbol for “I’m meditating”…but is actually a seal reminding the practitioner of the union of the individual soul with the universal soul.

What really began to fascinate me were the more complex mudras, particularly the ones that involve two hands…there was power, strength, and flexibility in their complexity…I, quite literally, could FEEL IT!

Most you hold for a length of time…anywhere from 5 to 45 minutes, or more…while in meditation or a yoga pose. And while nearly all are indicated for specific physical impairments, the strongest impact I feel is on my emotional state. Mudras have helped me both define and understand certain emotional states that cause discomfort…anxiety…depression. Perhaps it is actually about focus, intense inward focus…and if that’s the case…that’s cool too…all I know is that…MUDRAS WORK…ON CLEARING AND STABILIZING YOUR HEART-MIND SPACE.

And so, with that introduction…I present my first mudra to you here…fellow NymphoBrainiacs. Appropriately, it is the FEARLESS HEART mudra:

The Fearless Heart mudra, or Abhaya Hrdaya Mudra in sanskrit, is meant to engender trust in your own strength and vitality…trust in your Fearless Heart. It should be used anytime you need to tap into your inner truth…your courage, your essence and power. In times when you feel that fear has caused you to curl-in on yourself, to give up your dreams, doubt your own desires and goals…to…shut down…call on your Fearless Heart and its infinite wisdom.

A word, this mudra requires some dexterity, and may take a couple attempts before you get it right…but don’t give up…it’s worth the contortions, trust me!

Here’s the step-by-step breakdown:

  1. Raise hands in front of the chest, palms facing center.
  2. Cross the wrists at the backs of the hands touching, right hand closest to your body, palms facing to the sides.
  3. First interlock  the index, middle, and little fingers, while connecting the tips of the thumb and ring finger on both hands, forming two rings.
  4. Note: Cupcake Pastease are optional, however extremely inspirational when channeling that humor (ego-less) chakra 😉

Find a comfortable seated position, close your eyes, roll your shoulders down and back, root your seat into the floor, and pull your interlocked hands down gently to rest at the base of your sternum (or your heart). Alternately, this mudra can be done laying down, with your head carefully elevated. Take long, deep breaths. If it helps, visualize energetic light flowing in and out through the crown of your head to the base of your spine…light in…light out.

And…indulge in the power of your Fearless Heart.

Dr.NB.

Shine Bright Like a…

VAGINA!
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Yes…that’s right:

SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A VAGINA!

shine

Last night I shared some time with a woman who I have simultaneously  admired and been inspired by for more than a decade and who, incidentally, took the photo above: NYC Photographer Michelle Wild.

Through the years she’s built quite a reputation in boudoir photography (Shutterbug Boudoir) as a woman who shoots women not as objects, rather as complete, complex, highly individual, sensual beings…GODDESSES, basically.

Yes, I imagine one could chalk this up to angles and lighting…but, my heart tells me it’s more than that…it’s about raising a woman’s awareness of her own deep and personal sensual power…showing her… HER SHINE!

And so, with that…I leave you to your weekend with a funny vid’…and the wish that each and every one of you:

SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A VAGINA!

xxx, Dr. NymphoBrainiac

 

 

A beauty evolution.

aleah_chapin_worki_3080257c

Artist, Aleah Chapin

***

there are some pretty people

on this earth, my goodness.

the sad part is it takes most

people a lifetime to realize

what pretty is

and how to see it.

deathbeds are

revelations of our aesthetic

existence.

one day it will be much too late

and

the burden of beauty unseen

will hit you like a comet to the

chest;

all I ask from you now

is to love what is difficult

to love and

find what is difficult to see.

Christopher Poindexter (emphasis added)

I have been thinking a lot about beauty these days…probably related to the most recent (if exhaustingly derivative) wave of social media obsessions (makeup, bodies, fashion, etc.) which always seem to reflect beauty norms in the most insidious manner…or maybe because as I approach a “certain age” I find…

I am more aware,

more appreciative,

and more accepting of beauty in ALL forms.

Meaning I see beauty in those visions, sounds, textures, tastes that previously I had rejected or quite honestly…hadn’t even noticed

(because these experiences are typically not spoon-fed to us…as beauty).

It’s sad…I mourn the loss, the expanse of beauty, I only now understand.

It is also wonderful.

It’s so new.

It’s so lush…it has a depth and a richness, a confidence I’ve never before known.

I don’t think I could have known it, with my untuned senses…blunted by the heavy weight thrown mostly on the young…weight you don’t even fully perceive until you become “old-enough”…and then, you shed it.

You shed it and you become beauty.

But unlike any you’ve ever known…because it’s source is your heart,

it’s conduit…your soul.

This daily realization, found in the smallest experiences…brings me to tears.

-Dr.NB.

Gender & Sex: Expression and Identity and Orientation…Oh My!

genderbread1

While the origin of the Gingerbread Person infographic seems to be mired in controversy (more about that here), I find it extremely helpful in navigating the increasingly complex and multi-faceted reality of self-other orientation(s) today. Besides, there is something immediately approachable about a cookie cut-out…must be the food angle.

😉

Dr.NymphoBrainaic