This post marks the beginning of a new series: Portraits of NymphoBrainiacs; combining unique portraiture with the subjects thoughts on sex. As a reminder, a NymphoBrainiac is anyone who has an interest in the exploration of sensuality and/or sex…as a mindful act.
And so we begin, together…sharing our explorations with open hearts, curious senses, and hungry minds.
What interests you most about sex?
NymphoBrainaic: Memento Mori
Sex, and myself as a sexual being, was traumatic and depersonalized for a large part of my adolescence and young adulthood. Nevertheless I was fascinated, obsessed even, with sex as a purely physical act. But, only anonymously, only as an objectification and degradation. My only understanding of physical intimacy was degradation and pain, so those were patterns i continued to look for. For a long time I couldn’t reconcile my physical body with myself the psychologically sexual being, which naturally lead to some very dark very abusive places. But then in college not only did I move away from my comfort zone physically I started learning more about philosophy. And, I met some really amazing women who gave me a safe space and encouraged me to explore not only my body but my sensuality without judgment, with love and support and tenderness. Ironically, or not, through sex and sexual expression I was able to reclaim those parts of myself that had been stolen. I started becoming a whole human being which culminated in being able choose to share intimate self with another on my own terms, without feeling afraid or absent or abused. For me, the most interesting thing about sex is its transformative properties. That it can be profound creation or destruction and often to some degree both. Now, my interests have continued to develop to explore sex as sacred, as ritual, as magic.
It has always struck me that those who are most interested in the erotic, as adults, often also have histories of abuse. Their journey is a difficult one, fraught with struggle, but their sensual truth…when they come to it…is so truly authentic, unapologetically so. Perhaps it is because they have experienced destruction…and have now, mindfully, chosen to cultivate creation from their pain…a sensual transformation from death into life.
What A beautiful first.
Thank you, MM.
If you are interested in participating in this project, please contact me!