Company XIV Burlesque: A Naughty Romp at the SlipperRoom for #Pride

June 25th was Pride 2017 in NYC, and I happily celebrated with my mother, enjoying the bawdy baroque from Company XIV at the Slipper Room.

Enjoy, some of the intimate and erotic captures below…I only wish I had recorded the vocal performance, as well…divine!

All photos taken with a NikonD5500.

Dr. NB.

Portrait of a NymphoBrainiac #2: Audrey Love

Audrey Love. – NYC/LA Model/Pin Up/Dancer/Designer.

I have known this fierce nymph for a while now, and watching her evolve has been a great pleasure. From a girl with a head-full-of-dreams, to a woman actually manifesting those wishes…her quiet beauty and gentle poise are enough to topple hearts and intrigue even the most hardened cynic.

When I asked her for an interview (via text, actually) on her thoughts, feelings, and interests regarding sex, she hesitated, “trying to find the words.” Part of her hesitation was that she felt that there were so many “kinks” and “connections,” to explore that she felt unable to answer from a place of knowing, which made me question:

Do we ever REALLY know what we’re “all about” when it comes to sex?

When I look back on my own sexual life-experiences I wonder if there is any real discernible pattern. Certainly not from the outside looking in, but to me…it’s been a many-layered kaleidoscope, an evolution that (oddly) seems to have taken me right back to where I started…but I digress…

“Where I started”…sounds eerily familiar to where my young friend is today:

The acknowledgement of the self as a sexually powerful creature and yet, not quite knowing what to do with that power…that, desire.

Oh, What to Do…with that feeling of being split-off or separated from your unfocused sexual potential, your unrequited desire.

Perhaps, our sexuality is best understood as a mirrored-self.

A self of exploration, an experiential or felt-self.

Well, Audrey…your journey as a NymphoBrainiac has just begun…and as my sexual-self smiles knowingly and winks back at yours, she says:

“I’ll see you on the other side, my Love…”

xxx, Dr.NB

(Photo taken by me with a Nikon D5500 at Brooklyn Botanic Gardens, Sakura Matsuri 2017)

 

Portrait of a NymphoBrainiac: #1 Memento Mori

This post marks the beginning of a new series: Portraits of NymphoBrainiacs; combining unique portraiture with the subjects thoughts on sex. As a reminder, a NymphoBrainiac is anyone who has an interest in the exploration of sensuality and/or sex…as a mindful act.

And so we begin, together…sharing our explorations with open hearts, curious senses, and hungry minds.

The Question:

What interests you most about sex?

NymphoBrainaic: Memento Mori

Sex, and myself as a sexual being, was traumatic and depersonalized for a large part of my adolescence and young adulthood. Nevertheless I was fascinated, obsessed even, with sex as a purely physical act. But, only anonymously, only as an objectification and degradation. My only understanding of physical intimacy was degradation and pain, so those were patterns i continued to look for. For a long time I couldn’t reconcile my physical body with myself the psychologically sexual being, which naturally lead to some very dark very abusive places. But then in college not only did I move away from my comfort zone physically I started learning more about philosophy. And, I met some really amazing women who gave me a safe space and encouraged me to explore not only my body but my sensuality without judgment, with love and support and tenderness. Ironically, or not, through sex and sexual expression I was able to reclaim those parts of myself that had been stolen. I started becoming a whole human being which culminated in being able choose to share intimate self with another on my own terms, without feeling afraid or absent or abused. For me, the most interesting thing about sex is its transformative properties. That it can be profound creation or destruction and often to some degree both. Now, my interests have continued to develop to explore sex as sacred, as ritual, as magic.

It has always struck me that those who are most interested in the erotic, as adults, often also have histories of abuse. Their journey is a difficult one, fraught with struggle, but their sensual truth…when they come to it…is so truly authentic, unapologetically so. Perhaps it is because they have experienced destruction…and have now, mindfully, chosen to cultivate creation from their pain…a sensual transformation from death into life.

What A beautiful first. 

Thank you, MM.

If you are interested in participating in this project, please contact me!

Psychopathia Sexualis & Early Erotic Photography

Richard Freiherr von Krafft-Ebing (1840-1902) was a German-Austrian psychiatrist and early sexologist, whose book Psychopathia Sexualis: eine Klinisch-Forensische Studie, first published in 1886 (and translated into English in 1892), became a great influence within the emerging study of sexology. The book, which Krafft-Ebing continued to expand throughout twelve editions until his death, is a scientific […]

via “Strange Photos.” — Old Guv Legends

Every morning…

For the last year or so I have started every morning the same way…

I arrive at the office long before anyone else…one and a half hours to be exact, and I sit.

I sit and I meditate.

I sit and I review my goals…yearly, monthly, weekly, daily. And while these goals definitely impact my career, they are not specifically focused on my function at work, they are focused on my LIFE.

How can I cultivate more gratitude in my days?

What decisions, actions, and behaviors will bring my spirit, mind, and body into an alignment that serves me and my loved ones better?

What can I do, to be…better?

Lofty? Yes.

Grandiose? No.

I start my day here because this is the foundation from which I choose to walk through life.

I don’t tell you this to impress you…it’s fairly unimpressive really. My writings are filled with the minutia of my daily life, most of which contains musings on my many failures with a few successes sprinkled in; however, there are seven goals that direct my daily life, highly personal goals that I understand as my beacons of fulfillment…my guides.

At this point, I realize I may never achieve many of these goals, but I also realize:

That’s not the point (even though at first you think it is).

The point is the act itself…putting yourself out there…being “all-in” with something that is meaningful to you.

That’s true success…that’s walking the walk…even if, you never get there, you stayed your course…and if you did, you probably discovered that Dreams never actually die…no, they simply transform into something else…something better…for you.

 

 

Naked Yoga…A 60 Second Doc

When you watch this video you don’t see a room full of naked people…well, you do…BUT(T) you also hear words of…self-love…of a (sometimes difficult) journey to acceptance and celebration of the parts of ourselves we seek to hide. There is no doubt that Naked Yoga (and this class, Naked in Motion, in particular) changed the way I see my body…and, quite frankly, how I think about my body.

Everyone should try Naked Yoga, at least once…it “builds character,” as my grandmother would say.

Cheers to nakedness…of the soul,

Dr. NB

Facebook (@NiMotion), Twitter (@nakedinmotion) and Instagram (@nakedinmotion.)

Fearless Heart

I became interested in mudras about a year or two ago, when I started my yoga practice.

If you’re wondering…

Mudras are physical hand (and finger or body)  gestures or seals, used in meditation, martial arts, and in yoga, that connect us to the energy pathways of our chakras, our organs, and to our emotional states.

And while all that may sound like a bit of  “woo woo”,  mudras have been used at least since antiquity (1500 BCE) and conceivably even in prehistoric religious practice (70,000 BCE), so we can rest easily that their usefulness has been tested.

Wikipedia has this to say about mudras:

A mudra (ⁱ/muˈdrɑː/; Sanskritमुद्रा, “seal”, “mark”, or “gesture”; Tibetan: ཕྱག་རྒྱ་THLchakgya) is a symbolic or ritual gesture in Hinduism and Buddhism.^[1] While some mudras involve the entire body, most are performed with the hands and fingers.^[2] A mudrā is a spiritual gesture and an energetic seal of authenticity employed in the iconography and spiritual practice of Indian religions.

One hundred and eight mudras are used in regular Tantric rituals.^[3]

In yoga, mudras are used in conjunction with pranayama (yogic breathing exercises), generally while seated in Padmasana, Sukhasana or Vajrasana pose, to stimulate different parts of the body involved with breathing and to affect the flow of prana in the body.

Even if you’ve never done yoga, you are probably familiar with the chin mudra…which has become a kind of symbol for “I’m meditating”…but is actually a seal reminding the practitioner of the union of the individual soul with the universal soul.

What really began to fascinate me were the more complex mudras, particularly the ones that involve two hands…there was power, strength, and flexibility in their complexity…I, quite literally, could FEEL IT!

Most you hold for a length of time…anywhere from 5 to 45 minutes, or more…while in meditation or a yoga pose. And while nearly all are indicated for specific physical impairments, the strongest impact I feel is on my emotional state. Mudras have helped me both define and understand certain emotional states that cause discomfort…anxiety…depression. Perhaps it is actually about focus, intense inward focus…and if that’s the case…that’s cool too…all I know is that…MUDRAS WORK…ON CLEARING AND STABILIZING YOUR HEART-MIND SPACE.

And so, with that introduction…I present my first mudra to you here…fellow NymphoBrainiacs. Appropriately, it is the FEARLESS HEART mudra:

The Fearless Heart mudra, or Abhaya Hrdaya Mudra in sanskrit, is meant to engender trust in your own strength and vitality…trust in your Fearless Heart. It should be used anytime you need to tap into your inner truth…your courage, your essence and power. In times when you feel that fear has caused you to curl-in on yourself, to give up your dreams, doubt your own desires and goals…to…shut down…call on your Fearless Heart and its infinite wisdom.

A word, this mudra requires some dexterity, and may take a couple attempts before you get it right…but don’t give up…it’s worth the contortions, trust me!

Here’s the step-by-step breakdown:

1. Raise hands in front of the chest, palms facing center.
2. Cross the wrists at the backs of the hands touching, right hand closest to your body, palms facing to the sides.
3. First interlock  the index, middle, and little fingers, while connecting the tips of the thumb and ring finger on both hands, forming two rings.
4. Note: Cupcake Pastease are optional, however extremely inspirational when channeling that humor (ego-less) chakra 😉

Find a comfortable seated position, close your eyes, roll your shoulders down and back, root your seat into the floor, and pull your interlocked hands down gently to rest at the base of your sternum (or your heart). Alternately, this mudra can be done laying down, with your head carefully elevated. Take long, deep breaths. If it helps, visualize energetic light flowing in and out through the crown of your head to the base of your spine…light in…light out.

And…indulge in the power of your Fearless Heart.

Dr.NB.

Your Body. My Body.

Have you ever wondered why we seem drawn to look at other people’s bodies?

And often it’s not just looking…

It’s judging…

It’s comparing…

It’s rejecting…

It’s coveting…

But…It’s…NOT OUR BODY.

So then WHY?

Why do we feel compelled to silently (or not so silently) comment on another’s body? I’ll tell you why, it’s for the same reason we watch realityTV, it softens our own inner critic…

I’m not that bad.

I can have that too!

or…See she’s not that perfect.

But here’s the rub…here’s where the logic collapses. Engaging in this type of inner comparison doesn’t actually achieve its goal. It doesn’t make us feel better…it makes us feel worse. It makes us feel worse because it sidesteps our humanity…disabling our ability to feel compassion for ourselves; making it impossible to feel compassion for others. Funny how that works…that feedback loop of essential human-ness.

What makes us human isn’t our perfection, it’s our ability to accept, even love, our imperfection…because what I see in me, is what I see in you.

We are all mirrors.

It’s your responsibility to love you what you see.

xxx Dr.NB.

 

 

5 lbs.

“I gained 5 lbs.”

Feeling = disappointment…less than.

“I lost 5 lbs.”

Feeling = accomplishment…better than.

“Oh, it’s JUST 5 POUNDS,” you say. But, if you’re a woman…that 5 pounds has followed you around your entire life. That 5 pounds is often the gauge with which you calculate, compare, and evaluate your worth. We brush it off. It’s meaningless.

IT’S JUST 5 POUNDS.

Then why do we care?

And let’s be honest…we DO CARE.

If we didn’t, then why would we talk about it? Why does it act as cultural currency with other women? Why is it the “tie that binds us” in some way?

When I say, “I gained (or lost) 5 lbs.” You know exactly what I mean. It’s like superficial code for my mood:

If I gained weight, you might soothe me,

“No! I can’t even tell! You still look good, though…”

If I lost weight, you work to encourage me,

“Yes! I knew something was different! You look fantastic!”

But you and I both know, IT’S NOT ABOUT THE 5 POUNDS.

It’s about a feeling.

It’s about a feeling of failure.

Or.

It’s about a feeling of accomplishment.

Why do we allow these feelings, which are inarguably essential components to the human experience, to be inextricably tied to those damned 5 pounds?  I’ll tell you why,

Because we are women.

Because a large part of our identity is enmeshed with our physical appearance.

Because we’ve bought into whatever media has sold us about what we should look like.

Because that 5 pounds is what stands between us and ___(insert desire/goal/feeling here)___.

Are you comfortable with that? Because I’m not.

Now…Go throw away your scale.

Happy International Women’s Day.

-Dr.NB.

 

 

Why Naked Yoga?

Yeah…Why in the hell am I going to NAKED YOGA?!

Let me start out by saying that I love being naked…in my own home.

Let me also say that the purpose of being a nudist (kind of) alludes me…mostly because the activities that they engage in while nude, are activities with no place in their daily life.

Case in point: 50+ year old man hula hooping…amid a mass of equally naked bodies doing a multitude of extra-bouncy activities.

Let’s just say, based on observation, the nude beach is about 80% more active than the non-nude version.

I mean part of me gets it…you feel FREE…why get all into it, it’s a childlike freedom…It’s totally understandable.

However, for me, the novelty and perhaps the opportunity to engage in a nude game of say, “horseshoes” is just not enough of a draw. When I’m nude, it’s nothing special, I’m engaging in the same activities I would do not-nude. Well mostly…except THAT…but, you get what I mean…Then again, maybe I’m doing it wrong…

I remember being at the nude beach and rather than feeling underdressed, I felt under active…I wanted to do the same thing I do at the semi-clothed beach: Go into the water and lay in the sun. The flurry of activity around me was…honestly, a little distressing. I quickly realized the issue with being a nudist for me isn’t that I am nude, it’s that everyone else is. I hadn’t been socialized to process this, meaningfully. And Damnit, I couldn’t take my eyes off all the MOVING parts!

So, knowing this about myself, why in the world am I taking a NAKED YOGA class?

Well for one, yoga is something I actually do, unlike hula hoop or badminton or croquet or lawn darts…or whatever 70’s throwback activities I experienced on the nude beach that day.

I DO YOGA DAILY and…topless, at times, or scantily clad…depending on the heat or the mood…but never have I done yoga NAKED or with OTHER…NAKED PEOPLE…

But, I didn’t answer the question, did I.

Why NAKED YOGA?

Honestly, I have no idea…which is 90% why I feel compelled to do it; the other 10% is quite simply that I love to do things that make me uncomfortable, that I am terrible at…things that generally push my boundaries…and this time…this time, I am scared as shit.

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Dr.NB.