Swinger Events: How they changed me, and how I’ve changed…

I have a party coming up this weekend–a lifestyle/swinger party–and, as always, as the party draws nearer I receive messages from those interested in attending and questions about, “what is it like?” which leads to a process of sharing that ALWAYS gets me thinking about how “what it’s like” to ME is a constantly evolving experience.

In the beginning, 7 years back now, lifestyle events were about experiencing everything I could; I was actually gorging on every sexual fantasy I had: grabbing, kissing, licking…(softly chuckling as I write this)…I was alike a wild animal. And, I think I NEEDED to be. It was a time of growing stress and anticipation in my professional life (training in psych), I was newly single and seeing an equally adventurous new partner, and as someone who always goes with her instinct (for better or worse) I let my hedonistic side loose and…INDULGED—releasing a need for freedom and expression…and I don’t regret a millisecond of it.

Later, as my love relationships became more stable, the parties were more about exploring together. Emotions would intervene at times, giving some parties a bit of a negative tone as boundaries were established, but I still felt they were an integral part of who I was both in a relationship and as a person. I performed and I hosted…the parties were my social outlet and my platform for creative and sexual expression (for me those two experiences are inextricably tied). Interestingly, the events also became less important to my own relationship and more vital to my friendships and sexual relationships with women. In fact my current partner was convinced I was a lesbian when we met…indeed, I do love men, but I certainly feel less self-conscious, sexually, with women.

Now, parties are different. There is a feeling of “been there, done that” and much of the pure excitement and anxiety has passed, but that isn’t a bad shift, rather a natural one. When I go to parties, I see my friends and we meet on the same ground: a safe place for sensuality and exploration, one of mutual respect and understanding that feels…DAMN GOOD! Like walking into your favorite bar or restaurant, only everyone is naked! Ha! Okay, so maybe my comparison is a little off, but the feeling isn’t. I love these parties, to this day, not because I am a “swinger” but because I am a lover of ALL THAT IS SENSUAL…and I won’t apologize, because there is no need…for me, or for YOU!

Just enjoy!

And if you are around NYC this weekend, stop by the Sexxymofo Party, and I’ll show you ALL ABOUT IT!

Xxx c

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