For this installment of Sex Toy Tuesday, I decided to look to the past, way “past”…and to ask:
How did ladies of ancient times (and men, for that matter) get-off?
My research has uncovered some fascinating facts…
Artifacts from the Upper Paleolithic (period) which have previously been described as batons were most likely used for sexual purposes. However, there appears to be hesitation on the part of archaeologists to label these items as sex toys: as archaeologist Timothy Taylor put it, “Looking at the size, shape, and—some cases—explicit symbolism of the ice age batons, it seems disingenuous to avoid the most obvious and straightforward interpretation. But it has been avoided.” (Wikipedia)
Why? Well it seems that our (oft-exhibited) shame related to sexuality and sexual functions even inhibits our ability to interpret history accurately (What a shock!). Still, if we eschew puritanical skeptics, it seems that the world’s oldest known dildo is a siltstone 20-centimeter phallus from the Upper Palaeolithic period dating nearly 30,000 years ago-during the ICE-AGE!
Additionally, ancient dildo relics span the globe! Findings of the archaeologists show that ancient Egyptians used dildos 2,500 years ago.
These pre-modern dildos were constructed of stone, tar, wood and other materials that could be shaped as penises and that were firm enough to be used as penetrative sex toys (…obviously).
Chinese women in the 11th through the 15th centuries used dildos made of lacquered wood with beautiful and ornate textured surfaces.
Sex toys were apparently well known to the ancient Greeks and sometimes depicted in art, specifically Greek-vase ceramics. Some pieces show their use in group sex or in solitary female masturbation . One vessel, of about the 6th century BC, depicts a scene in which a woman bends over to perform oral sex on a man, while another man is about to thrust a dildo into her anus.
In addition to countless ceramic depictions, these phallic-shaped toys (or oblisbo meaning “to glide or slip”) are described in literature of the time and are known to have been commonly given as gifts to Grecian women whose husbands were going off to war or who had passed away.
Recently, in Greece, an ancient brothel was unearthed, revealing a 2,000 year old “sex-toy shop” where stone vaginal and anal probes, penis paraphernalia, and a variety of lubricants were discovered.
But just how prevalent were sex tools in ancient Greek society? According to numerous historic texts, sex tools–especially penis-shaped dildos–were so integral to day-to-day Grecian life that they were commonly sold in the marketplace, and men and women took them virtually everywhere they went, including the afterlife.
Dildos also have a place in culture…
- And so, girls, when fucking time comes… not the faintest whiff of it anywhere, right? From the time those Milesians betrayed us, we can’t even find our eight-fingered leather dildos. At least they’d serve as a sort of flesh-replacement for our poor cunts… So, then! Would you like me to find some mechanism by which we could end this war? (Wikipedia)
Herodas‘ comic Mime VI, written in the 3rd Century BC, is about a woman anxious to discover from a friend where she recently acquired a dildo.
- I beg you, don’t lie,
- dear Corrioto: who was the man who stitched for you this bright red dildo? (Wikipedia)
She eventually discovers the maker to be a certain Kerdon, who hides his trade by the front of being a cobbler, and leaves to seek him out.
John Wilmot, the 17th century English libertine, published his poem Signor Dildo in 1673. The piece was meant to be a mock address anticipating the ‘solid’ advantages of a Catholic marriage, namely the wholesale importation of Italian dildos, to the unspeakable joy and comfort of all the ladies of England:
- You ladies all of merry England
- Who have been to kiss the Duchess’s hand,
- Pray, did you not lately observe in the show
- A noble Italian called Signor Dildo? …
- A rabble of pricks who were welcomed before,
- Now finding the porter denied them the door,
- Maliciously waited his coming below
- And inhumanly fell on Signor Dildo …(Wikipedia)
- Comparative evidence from around the world shows that sex toys and tools are common to virtually every known culture on the planet! Are you shocked? No…of course not…you read this BLOG! (insert: light chuckle)….Enjoy Your Sex Toy Tuesday…..xxx c