The Duality of Life

Today I found myself searching…for an answer to pain, originating from love.

I found answers.

None of which satiated, but all reflected back the duality of life, of relationships, of sex, of love.

I am thankful to have the strength to recognize and also tolerate that duality, a dialectic that in no small part defines my life including my sexuality, my partners, my career, as well as my artistic and erotic endeavors.

I am guessing you also both suffer through and enjoy similar experiences in life, your interest in a blog such as this would seem to necessitate that, which gives me the opportunity to share some of my reflections today, with you…

A friend’s blog 100% Mixed Girl, which captures the essence of life’s dualities as truly dialectic (two opposites that should not “fit” together and yet somehow do), was the first to provide a lens.

In this particular entry she describes the melancholic experience of loss in a “friendship” that is not meeting expectations:

“True friendship is far more rare than I realized.

I also learned that I should never doubt my instincts about people.

Even if I decide to let them in, I will do so with care.

I will not allow all the same access as others.

I will try to deprogram myself from thinking that all friendships deserve the same love and intimacy.

I will make my most ambitious effort to not take their unsavory behavior personal and accept them as they are.

If I don’t, they will continue to hurt and disappoint me with their failure of my expectations.

For the close circle of ladies I have, I will continue to nurture and trust in you.

For those that no longer belong in that category, you will eventually alienate yourself and I will no longer cry, bitch and moan that you don’t fit.

I have been trying to force you into a space that was simply not designed for you.

I regrettably mourn the dream of you as you were never meant to be my reality.”

(Excerpt from Friendship & Intimacy by S.Iscove)

The idea of mourning that which never truly existed is a trick I think we have all played on ourselves and yet the loss is real, it’s just the origin we are often mistaken about. When we look to the “other” for answers we are misdirected, the origin of our suffering is within ourselves, the expectations, the desires, the judgements…these all come from us, and color the way in which we connect to others in our lives. It’s a hard lesson and one I continually struggle with, but one that once recognized is invaluable to the health and happiness of future relationships.

This reflection, combined with the approaching holiday (Halloween & Dia de los Muertos), turned my thinking to death, endings, masks…identity.

Specifically, I was looking at the work of artists Sylvia Ji and several of her images brought me to the following thoughts:

The relationship between beginnings and endings,

often they are so inter-related that we can predict one from the other.

Love and desire,

which may at times seem very much at odds,

and yet impossibly connected.

Pleasure…floats us on a cloud of passion;

however, never promises tomorrow.

The self, constantly evolving…

so much so that at times our own reactions seem alien,

yet our emotions are all ours…by definition.

Ahhhhhh…the pleasure and suffering inherent in the experience of life’s dualities…can’t live with em, can’t live without em…and so let’s choose to just accept, and LIVE.

xxx

c.

Welcome to A FANTAS-MAGORIC EROTICA BLOG! (“RomancingAlix” is a BLOG w/HEAT)

Welcome to : http://romancingalix.wordpress.com

I wanted to take a moment to share with you an excellent blog that shares both tantalizing lit’ in addition to some smoking hot images!

JUST CLICK ON THE “Welcome” LINK ABOVE…AND LET YOUR FANTASIES TAKE OVER.

I hope you will explore and enjoy as much as I do!

xxx

c.

Written in…BLOOD!

“No one ever thinks of how much blood it costs.” – Dante Alighieri

The raw sensuality of the underground club scene is immediately evident as we follow an unsuspecting human as he stumbles through the crowd of increasingly aggressive (and as yet un-revealed) vamps…The techno beats hit hard…and drop-by-drop…it starts to rain…BLOOD!

BLOOD begins to spew from the warehouse’s sprinkler system and what was once a night out dancing has become a blood bath of flesh and fiends writhing in the gore.

One female vamp purrs to the human, “What’s wrong baby?” And is answered with a frightened shriek…as the vampires reveal their fangs in what we are to expect will soon become a feeding frenzy. Until, crawling through the blood soaked floor, our human comes upon a savior…BLADE.

The blood bath scene from Blade (1998) is a favorite, and arguably one of the most dramatic opening scenes of any film.

This may seem an odd way to return to blogging…after my weeks of absence, but sometimes what inspires is hardly predictable or easily understood…rather it should be grasped, held, and swiftly expressed!

It’s nice to be back. Thank you, to the writing Gods and Goddesses who have once again…returned to me. And a very heartfelt THANK YOU to those friends who have quietly nudged.

“Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.”  ~E.L. Doctorow

See you a little later, for a return to The Dungeon!

Xxx

c.

Anais Nin: A Woman Unafraid to Explore Taboo (even when it was her own)

“I must be a mermaid, Rango. I have no fear of depths and a great fear of shallow living.” 
― Anaïs Nin

Who was this erotic woman, preferring depth to superficial comfort?

Anais Nin is hailed by many critics as one of the finest writers of female erotica. She was one of the first women to explore fully the realm of erotic writing, and certainly the first prominent woman in the modern West to write erotica. Before her, erotica written by women was rare, with a few notable exceptions, such as the work of Kate Chopin.

According to Volume I of her diaries, 1931–1934, published in 1966 (Stuhlmann), Nin first came across erotica when she returned to Paris with her [husband,] mother and two brothers in her late teens. They rented the apartment of an American man who was away for the summer, and Nin came across a number of French paperbacks: “One by one, I read these books, which were completely new to me. I had never read erotic literature in America… They overwhelmed me. I was innocent before I read them, but by the time I had read them all, there was nothing I did not know about sexual exploits… I had my degree in erotic lore.”

Portrait of Anaïs Nin in the 1970s.

Faced with a desperate need for money, Nin, Miller and some of their friends began in the 1940s to write erotic and pornographic narratives for an anonymous “collector” for a dollar a page, somewhat as a joke.^[14] (It is not clear whether Miller actually wrote these stories or merely allowed his name to be used.^[15]) Nin considered the characters in her erotica to be extreme caricatures and never intended the work to be published, but changed her mind in the early 1970s and allowed them to be published as Delta of Venus^[16][17]and Little Birds.

Nin was a friend, and in some cases lover, of many leading literary figures, including Henry Miller, Antonin Artaud, Edmund Wilson, Gore Vidal, James Agee, James Leo Herlihy, and Lawrence Durrell. Her passionate love affair and friendship with Miller strongly influenced her both as a woman and an author. Nin wrote about her infatuation with the Surrealist artist Bridget Bate Tichenor in her diaries.^[18][19] The rumor that Nin was bisexual was given added circulation by the Philip Kaufman film Henry & June. This rumor is dashed by at least two encounters Nin writes about in her third unexpurgated journal, Fire. The first is with a patient of Nin’s (Nin was working as a psychoanalyst in New York at the time), Thurema Sokol, with whom nothing physical occurs. She also describes a ménage à trois in a hotel, and while Nin is attracted to the other woman, she does not respond completely (229–31). Nin confirms that she is not bisexual in her unpublished 1940 diary when she states that although she could be attracted erotically to some women, the sexual act itself made her uncomfortable. What is irrefutable is her sexual attraction to men.

Nin’s first unexpurgated journal, Henry and June, makes it clear, despite the notion to the contrary, that she did not have sexual relations with Miller’s wife, June. While Nin was stirred by June to the point where she says (paraphrasing), “I have become June,” she did not consummate her erotic feelings for her. Still, to both Anaïs and Henry, June was a femme fatale—irresistible, cunning, erotic. Nin gave June money, jewelry, clothes, oftentimes leaving herself broke. In her second unexpurgated journal, Incest, she wrote that she had an incestuous relationship with her father, which was graphically described (207–15). When Nin’s father learned of the title of her first book of fiction, House of Incest, he feared that the true nature of their relationship would be revealed, when, in fact, it was heavily veiled in Nin’s text (Wikipedia).

xxx

conchita

i12bent:

Aldous Huxley, English prose writer whose output ranged from philosophical novels to dystopian (Brave New World) and utopian (Island) fiction (with a number of book-length essays about drugs and meditation thrown in for good measure…) – died this day in 1963 from cancer (age 69), high on the dose of LSD which he had requested his wife inject him with as he was slipping away…

“Consistency is contrary to nature, contrary to life. The only completely consistent people are dead.” — A.H.

Photo: Cecil Beaton, 1936 – vintage bromide print on white card mount (NPG, London)

(Source:
http://agooddaytodie.tumblr.com/post/1649568898/aldous-huxley-english-prose-writer-whose-output
)

A Word Of Advice To Fellow (Frustrated) Writers…

Writing is neither an easy nor particularly gratifying pursuit…instead it is sometimes trying and often quite anxiety provoking…still as with any art form…the artist is compelled to create…driven to go on…insatiable! And the most viable quality in a writer?

Bravery…confidence…and the courage to face adversity…no matter what the form.

As writers we face a multitude of…barriers.

 

In truth:

To write something you have to risk making a fool of yourself.-Anne Rice

Cheers to those that venture on…that believe in their art…and please know that I (and many others) also believe…

CHEERS TO OUR FELLOW (frustrated) WRITERS!

Happy Fridays Lovers, xxx c.

You must be unintimidated by your own thoughts because if you write with someone looking over you shoulder, you’ll never write.

Nikki Giovanni (via ne-plus-ultra)

One one my VERY FAVORITE writers…She couldn’t be more correct! Dedicated to ALL of my writing friends! xxx c

Mezmerized by THE SUN…

Apologies to myself and my fellow bloggers….I have been remiss in posting, we all know how important it is to KEEP writing, creating, reading…even if it’s just for a moment…it keeps us fresh!

On the other hand, some days seem simply created for soaking up the sun….feeling the rays…allowing them to warm your soul…PURE AND SIMPLE…we ALL need to recharge sometimes!

Salute to giving yourself…a few days off!
xxx
Conchita