Genitalia: Look Weird, Feel (and Taste) Great — (NSFW – Naughty Post)

I may have blogged this before in fact I am almost sure I did, but in the absence of any original thoughts today perhaps I’ll delve back into older thoughts, that today feel pertinent and are certainly worth a re-analysis.

As many women do, I often receive pictures of men’s junk. Typically in an erect state, this disembodied member carries less-than-no sexual appeal to me.

(Women I think you can agree with me on this, even IF you have told HIM differently. Yes to it’s true men, hurting a man’s ego is a sin, we would prefer to lie…sometimes. I would say, some of you men do the same…as I think my pussy looks nothing like a “butterfly.”)

Am I to imagine myself impaled on your oh-so-swollen and gigantic phallus? Or fantasize about what it would be like thrust down my oh-so-slippery throat?

I KNOW you men imagine these things in great detail, it’s YOUR PENIS after all and it’s “fucking amazing” because of that fact…is it? I mean, isn’t it?!

Of course it is…

To YOU.

Men, we see it (genitalia) a bit differently.

Perhaps, or rather due to, society’s need to shame the female nether regions we women often enact hang-ups concerning genitalia—yours and ours.

We don’t particularly “like” the look of your junk (no worries many of us love the way it feels), and more often than that we don’t particularly “like” the look of OUR OWN JUNK (again no worries many of us love the way it tastes).

Why the discrepancy? Between how men and women view their own sex organs?

Why the self-pussy-hate?

Why don’t we love our oddly-colored-awkward folds with the same tenacity you men flout your lumpy-cylindrical-oft’ crooked-attached-to-octopus-balls genitalia with?

I’ll tell you why.

Because genitalia, men, women, animal, are ALL WEIRD looking. Not that weird is bad, it’s not…it’s damn functional, but we need to reach a middle ground here. How about this:

Men’s hard penises are not instant visual aphrodisiacs & women’s vaginas no not look like “butterflies.” Neither one is beautiful, or bad…BOTH ARE WEIRD.

Once I heard Sandra Bernhard in an interview say,

“Come on who are we kidding? All genitalia are unattractive! They look like sea anemone.”

I remember feeling indignant after the first half of that statement, and shaking my head in complete agreement upon hearing the second.

They are. They do!

So what are we to take from all of this?

Two things, I think:

1. I would like to receive fewer pictures of penises.

2. I would like to receive ANY pictures of vagina.

And I will start:

There…that should balance things out a bit!

(And Yes THAT IS ME, incidentally.)

NOW its your turn, ladies! I’m waiting!!

Xxx c.

Sex Toy Tuesday: A Gift 4 Your Vajayjay

Popularizing Oprah’s term for a vagina leaves a lot to be desired, but I must admit that when my girlfriend MizzJ gifted me with my very own Vajazzle kit…I was, well I was faSINated.

Perhaps in the same way ANY erotic art tickles me, down deep, but maybe it was something more: CREATIVITY!

I  COULD CREATE MY OWN VAGINA ART!

DOCUMENT IT!

FLASH IT!

PEEK AT IT!

And generally just KNOW that IT was there…THERE, making my nether regions brighter, richer, tackier… BEDAZZLED!

What could be more wonderfully ridiculous? Very little, I assure you.

I cannot wait to wear it…this weekend of course…Wait. does one bedazzle their vagina and wear panties? It seems a shame…rather I say let your vagina SHINE THROUGH and go pantiless…in a short skirt…and thigh high stockings…no not for HIM or HER, for YOU silly!

Viva La Vajazzled Vajayjay!

P.S. for those of you that wish to delve further into the art of the vajayjay there is a site, indeed:

http://www.vajazzling.com

Enjoy,

xxx cc

Sex Toy Tuesday…the RETURN F-Machines and All!

Well it has been awhile since I have done an entry addressing the pleasures of adult toys and so to kick off the relaunch of my site…I thought I would test drive one:

THE FUCKING MACHINE!

Now this is but one example of these rather aggressive toys. And they come in all sorts of

SHAPES

SIZES

and of course, POWER!

Now the version i had was of the “homegrown” type…a product of the ingenuity of a handy-MAN. And although the purpose was evident, the actually execution never quite…came to fruition, shall we say? Yes…in this case the penile apparatus seemed too flaccid to get the job done shall we say? And instead seemed to make a much better…MASSAGE?  But, my personal experience aside, this is a grand idea no? And I have good evidence that these machines work quite well when a more rigid approach is taken, shall we say?

From my very limited experience it seems men are most motivated to create these Fucking Machines which makes sense from a familiarity-with-tools perspective but…in practice…these machines seem to fall a bit short…or rather long? I tease a bit, but what I am trying to say I think is that, while men grasp the “motion” of women’s pleasure…something is lost in terms of the finesse! Perhaps if a woman were to design the tool and a man undertake the construction?

As with so many forms of female pleasure…I fear the men may require our direction…So, how would we change these amped up vibes? Hmmmnnn…the options seem endless, first the scale  should reflect the customer = SMALLER, LIGHTER, SOFTER…yes yes we do like it hard, but we like to WORK UP TO IT! I feel a bit as if I am redesigning the clunky too-big machines in the gym, they don’t fit either…Perhaps it is a man’s world and even our machines-o-pleasure are subject to a man’s view…NONSENSE! I refuse to accept this theory, rather I would like to think that it will only require a bit more time for our ladies to make their way to the tool-room and…CREATE!

With that…I invite you, my ladies, to take on the challenge…I have faith that WE can and will create the next best fucking machine…oh wait…maybe we HAVE: DIGITS 1 and 2?

heehee, xxx c.

I have been thinking about…VAGINA…of late.

I have been thinking about genitalia today. Womens’ genitals, in particular. From all different perspectives: self, other, senses (all 5), feelings/reactions, sexual, etc. And it has brought up a lot of…well FEELING in me. And why would it not?

Female genitalia have been alternately celebrated (Georgia O’keiff’s “flowers”), disparaged (“that is so ugly!”), condemned (chastity belts), and even demonized (vagina dentate). Thus, unsurprisingly, they bring up a mix of emotions from those of us that possess them…WOMEN.

We feel shame…even humiliation all to often when we gaze upon our own bodies, particularly this part of our bodies:

OUR VAGINA.

Why? Is it so terrible? So horrific an orifice so as to not deserve the pampering and plumping we give our lips…eyes…ears…etc.? I am not ignorant, I understand the deep-psychological social mores when it comes to vaginas: secret, dark, bad…as well as the confusing flip-side offered from those that desire our vaginas, who want nothing more to be inside. But here I am suggesting something a bit more subtle and intimate:

HOW DO YOU SEE YOUR VAGINA?

I once had a girlfriend say to me that she thought her vagina was the “ugliest thing in the world.” So, we did a photo shoot staring…HER VAGINA. True, it was more of an “outie” (your know what I mean) and had a little more to it than most but I decided very quickly looking at the images that her vagina looked very much like a butterfly, unique and quite lovely really. I do believe this experience was positive for her, but I can only speak for myself and say that it was marvelous for me because I began to understand vaginas as unique…different…unlike anything in the world so how could I possible call one (mine) ugly?

It simply IS…A VAGINA…like no other!

And THAT is enough…and so I say to my fellow women…celebrate your vagina…decorate it and care for it as you would any other part of yourself. And for those of you who haven’t I encourage you to gaze at the vaginas around…appreciate them as they are…a beauty unique to women…unlike any other.

xxx c.

A Hump Day Edition of Sex Toy Tuesday…better late than never!

THE BLINDFOLD

Few things as simple or as easily accessible have the potential to possess such sensual tension.

Sensory deprivation has long been used as a tool of sensuality. It stimulates key erotic elements such as attention, touch, smell, anticipation, trust…as well as the excitement of the unknown.

It is a favored sex toy of mine…more like a sex-tool really, I use it to build excitement and to bond my partner to me in the fleeting moments of passion.

Beginning with a blindfold…using it to preview what is to come:

• Running you hands…lips…or even high-heels over your lover’s body
• Kisses, licks and even nips in unexpected places
• Whispers of naughty promises to come…

All of these techniques work to increase desire and ultimately can make the “final act” that much more satisfying!

So, next time you are considering foreplay…grab a stalking…a scarf…and treat your partner to a little withholding…trust me, they will thank you…later.

Happy Hump Day, xxx c