On Puberty.

Reblogged from Rants.:

Immanuel Kant believed that we humans, because we are so emotionally complex, go through two puberties in life. The first puberty is when our bodies become mature enough for sex; the second puberty is when our minds become mature enough for sex. The two events can be separated by many, many years. Perhaps our emotional maturity comes to us only through the experiences and lessons of our youthful romantic failures.

Read more… 26 more words

Sex is such an important part of who I am, of where I "seat" my identity, but I have to agree with this "rant" that I re-blogged...there is the dis-integrated SEX of youth and the integrated (ultimately more satisfying) SEX of maturity...and I would never trade the former for the latter. I always heard from my older female friends when I was in my 20's (when my sex-life was legitimately great): "I swear, it gets so much better...you cannot even imagine how great sex is after 30!"...I would nod, secretly thinking, "Yeah, right." Well, now at 38...YEAH...FUCK YEAH, THEY WERE RIGHT! xxx conchita.

Monday LOVE for My BAD BITCHES!

“Be a bad bitch, never be a stupid bitch.” – M. Minaj

Meditating on all my bad bitches today…you are hard and beautiful women for certain!

You have unflagging confidence.

Are up to challenge anyone and everyone.

And ALWAYS carry you sexuality,

like it belongs to NO ONE except YOU…

because it doesn’t.

Cheers to my BAD BITCHES!

xxx conchita.

Thrilling Thursday: Get Wild, Not WET (Adult Sex Product Review)

Truth be told…we all get WET…ladies.

And that fact is both a blessing and a curse, if you will…making sex deliciously slippery AND making it a damn big mess…and depending on how often you are engaging in sex (with yourself and/or another/others) you are washing your sheets A LOT if you tend of the WETTER side of the lubrication continuum.

For me extreme wetness is a frequent reality, one that I have alternately been accepting of and slightly embarassed by for most of my adult life, “Why?” you ask. Well, without going into details, it’s MESSY and truth be told…in the end…someone ALWAYS has to sleep in the wet spot…unless you huddle to the edge of the bed and risk a fall!

So when a friend sent me information about “No More Wet Spot” I was intrigued.

www.nomorewetspot.com

“Now, No One has to sleep on the wet spot!

After years of arguing over who gets the “WetSpot” after sex we decided to do something about it. We’ve come up with this 100% Polyester waterproof blanket that is made with a “cool dry” fleece. It is specifically designed to catch fluids from sex and lube. The 50” X 60” size makes it a great fit for any surface, be it bed, couch, chair, backseat of the car or anywhere else your sex adventure takes you. It’s not bulky and can sit anywhere inconspicuously, cleverly disguised as a throw blanket. The unique bonding process brings together a soft luxurious feel with rugged durability and easy wash ability. The waterproof barrier between the two layers keep you away from your surfaces and your surfaces dry as you play, and once you’ve had your fun, just throw it in the wash and put it away till next time.”

Essentially the product works similarly to those snazzy UnderArmor or Nike running garments that wick water away from your skin surface and keep you dry during long runs. They work. And so, while I haven’t tried this particular product, there is no reason to think that the same logic wouldn’t apply.

Color me EXXXCITED…because now:

If any of you have tested this product please feel free to comment I would love to know what you think…sure beats using a towel!

xxx

Conchita.

Peenzilla Worship! Japan's Kanamara Festival Coming Up this April!

Reblogged from RocketNews24:

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This year on 7 April, the lusty cries of  "Kanamara, dekkai mara!" (“steel rod, giant dong!”) will once again ring through town.

Japan, traditionally a country where well-endowed foreigners are very welcome, embraces big penis worship in this very special festival. For the largest erections you’ve ever seen (anyone know Jonah Falcon personally?), save the date: Sunday 7 April 2013 at Kanayama Shrine in Kanagawa.

Read more… 597 more words

This year on 7 April, the lusty cries of ”Kanamara, dekkai mara!” (“steel rod, giant dong!”) will once again ring through town. Japan, traditionally a country where well-endowed foreigners are very welcome, embraces big penis worship in this very special festival.

My Ball Gag: A Lesson in the (Bitter) Sweet Sacrifice of Surrender

I planned to write about something completely different today, however a friend sparked a distant memory and…I was too distracted to think of anything else but:

Ball gags.

To me ball gags represent one of the highest forms of non-physical punishment.

They do not hurt, and restrain only minimally.

No the real domination if the ball gag is…mental.

I know I have told this story before, but it’s a good one:

I was shooting for a BDSM website and one of the shots called for a ball gag with attached nipple clamps. I had already done a couple shots with the clamps and was having quite a lot of fun so of course I responded in the affirmative,

“Yeah sure, bring it on!”

I mean how horrible could it be…right?

The gag was this gorgeous blue color, with handmade silver chains attached to delicate little nipple clamps…harmless and beautiful.

And THAT, my friends, was my error: looks can be terribly deceiving.

And so, enchanted by the royal blue color and shiny silver links I donned the gag and clamps for the shot. As I was waiting for the photographer to set up the lights, something started to happen…

Drip

Drip

DRIP

(shit, my lipstick)

I desperately started to try to suck up all of this very non-cosmetic and increasingly offensive DROOL

Sssssllllluuuurrrpppppppppppppssshhhh…

Despite my efforts it was becoming increasingly apparent that not only could I not suck up the slobber…but also, the flow was increasing…and I was beginning to…

GAG!

(Oooohhhhhhhh…so, that is why they call it a…)

In a desperate attempt for help I started to whine between my SLURPS

“mmmmmssssuuuooorrrrrssshhhhhmmmmmeeeeeeeee.”

The photographer looked up, with the most satisfied sadistic expression across his face, and said,

“Oh honey, yeah…don’t try to stop it just let it flow!”

I whimpered, in response. (Fine.)

I let it go…and it went. Long disgusting trails of slobber trailed down my entire naked body. And everyone on the shoot was pleased, except me.

It wasn’t that I was suffering, oh who am I kidding…I was suffering! But more than that, I was…ashamed.

The complete and total lack of control of my body was driving me mad…and the alternative choice was not very appealing: choke to death on my own spit…what could I do? I let it go, let all the slime just spew from my mouth.

I will admit there was a certain pleasure in it, but not the kind of self-possessed pleasure I am accustomed to, no this was more like surrender…I surrendered and my reward was…permission to let my body take over.

If you think about it it’s not unlike the experience of an orgasm, for a woman, you have to let go and let your body take over in order to climax… it is also a surrender to the physical that in many ways that must begin with the mental.

So…the next time you have the choice to either preserve your dignity or surrender it…go for the latter…I promise it will be far more instructive and ultimately more satisfying.

Cheers to wetness!

Xxx

Conchita.

Sexercise…Solutions to Dieting

After multiple scandalous posts on Facebook and Instagram, it was determined by observant friends that I am orally fixated today.

And so…in the interest of self-realization, and with the help of one kind soul, I present you with this slightly nasty, definitely naughty image.

And remember when considering a healthy diet…always keep your lover/s…in mind!

Happy Monday…it’s nice to be back…and yes, promises of more substantial posts to cum…errr…COME!

xxx
conchita.

Wet Wednesday: The Perfect XXX-Mas Gift is the One that Keeps on Giving!

We have all heard SNL infamous J.T. skit, “Dick in a Box,” by now, in all of it’s hilarity:

But what if you could actually give your dick, in a box, to your lover…well you now CAN!

I was perusing Katerina’s Closet today, my favorite (and friend owned) adult toy site, with the holidays in mind today, which brought to mind a special gift that a friend gave his lover years ago…his penis. Well, a replica of his penis at least.

From his account it was quite a project, from the making of the mold to the pouring and setting of the actual member…a labor of love if you will-y. Hahahaha!

Well of course the puns abound, but that aside the Clone-A-Willy kit was quite a well received (ha) item that Christmas…and let’s be honest who wouldn’t want your lovers dick ready and at your disposal (literally) upon any whim!

Katerina’s Closet shoppers do receive a 20% discount off of the $55 price tag…which is quite a deal fellas, when you think of all the joy you’ll bring!

Happy holidays,

c.

Do Women NEED to Cum?

Oh, women and our orgasms…perhaps, one of the most over-strived-for and under-appreciated experiences in our lives…males, female, self, other…WE WOMEN WANT TO CUM! But here is the real question:

Do we NEED to cum?

Yesterday I wrote a post about masturbation as an exercise in mindfulness, which really got me thinking about…well, about cumming. Later that day I came upon (you know it’s punny) a quote by the vivacious and voracious Mae West:

“An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.”

I posted this quote on Facebook as I often post semi-provocative sentiments to see what sparks people and in this case the ladies were indeed sparked (the exchange follows below). While there were the expected comments about how and when to cum, there was an interesting split between the psychological benefits of orgasm versus the physiological, which got me thinking…I don’t even have to look to know there is a plethora of scientific research our there providing evidence as to the mental and physical health benefits of orgasms, just like I don’t need to look in a stats book to know that statistics are incorrect 40% of the time. So, rather than bore you with numbers from studies that have a clear agendas,  I thought I would speak from personal experience…(you all tend to prefer that anyway).

As I have previously discussed, for me orgasms from masturbation represent a form of release that leads to an increased level of focus; they are simple to achieve and result in the release of tension, serotonin kicks-in and chills me out so that I may continue to write/work/think etc. The psychological benefit is clear. However the physiological benefit is less evident, granted I am sure that mechanisms of action are occurring beneath my level of consciousness (I am somehow increasing my lifespan by orgasming), but my immediate impression is often: I am a bit raw, and messy, and my muscles feel stiff…I honestly don’t feel that stellar, body-wise.

Whereas, if I orgasm from SEX…the experience seems to be reversed.

Typically, as we know, sex takes a bit more precursor than masturbation (not always, but at least a little forethought is needed)…and that requires some form of psychological application: feelings, thoughts, considerations…it’s not just you, after all. And all of these expectations can, and often do, create tension:

“Am I cumming? Are you cumming? are we cumming…together?”

However, if the psychological benefits of sex lag behind the immediate gratification of masturbation, then the physiological payoff is much…bigger! Unlike the sore messy state that masturbating so often leaves me in, sex has the benefit of simultaneously exhausting and relaxing every muscle in my body. Maybe it’s the flood of adrenalin or dopamine or whatever, acting as natural pain killers, but after sex I physically feel NOTHING. Yes yes, so maybe I’m a little sore but by then I’ve passed-out asleep so it doesn’t really matter…and sleep…well I can just about guarantee I will not wake up until the morning, that is unless you wake me up.

Perhaps, sex is a case of physical satisfaction and benefit leading to the psychological: “I simply no longer care…about anything!”

And so here we are full circle,

Do women need to cum?

And my answer, as a learned clinician is: Yes…often and in every way possible in order to ensure our psychological and physical health.

xxx Dr. Conchita.

 

The Nymphobrainiac’s Dance…Cum Dance with Me.

I remember when I was in graduate school, and this double-life or dialectic-life of mine began to develop; many acquaintances (and friends even) were shocked by my apparently illogical life-choices:

“Wait you are studying to be a doctor, and you are_____ (insert any of the following: doing porn, a dominatrix, at a sex party, performing nude burlesque, throwing a sex party, nude modeling, writing this blog)?”

At the time, it felt as if the message was loud and clear:

Two unrelated concepts cannot coexist; rather these concepts, the intellectual and the sexual or erotic, are contraindicative—one works against the other.

Not only do I (now, older and wiser) heartily disagree, but also I would counter with,

I could not have one without the other.

Sex and mind are so inextricably intertwined for me that they are more than simply parallel concepts they are co-dependant. Or maybe that’s not an apt term, there is such a negative connotation attached to co-dependence today, perhaps symbiotic is a better description…one feeds the other.

I could not explore, express, or evolve sexually without also being mindfully connected to that experience; nor could I develop, achieve, or grow in my intellectual pursuits without the drive and energy of the erotic process.

There is no sex without mind.

I first understood this relationship at a fairly young age…around the age of 11 or 12, when I started to masturbate to the 70’s erotica rooted out of our massive home library…or to steal and consume my father’s (hidden) Playboy magazines:

Exploring the sexual calmed me; it brought me to center and allowed me to focus on mind.

In high school, when I was working on a paper…writer’s block? Masturbating cured it. Too tired to finish? Well “finishing myself-off” always seemed to re-energize.

Yes, I understand perfectly well that some might characterize this behavior as deviant and as an unhealthy reliance on a socially unacceptable method of mindfulness (yes that’s right, I just compared masturbation to meditation!), but I would disagree. In no way has my work ever been impacted negatively by these mind-sex collaborative efforts; in fact, I would say that this process of self-understanding and self-regulation has only improved my productivity. Truth be told, I still employ this method today when working on a frustrating project, and it continued to work just as well!

I believe that there is something valuable in attending to and developing seemingly variant aspects of our psyches…it is the true dialectic of life; all of these disparate concepts eventually have to mesh in order to reach some kind of equilibrium (or peace), don’t they?

Certainly these are the thoughts and ideas behind what I playfully term: the nymphobrainiac:

It is a life of balance, a life that doesn’t mindlessly exclude or include, rather one that strives to explore all aspects of curiosity and desire, no matter what the origin…where one experience or thought feeds the next…no matter how seemingly atypical or abnormal those combinations may seem…it is LIVING a truly INTEGRATED LIFE.

Today I wrote about my dance, the one whose steps are tricky and require as much grace as they do strength and endurance…perhaps you will be encouraged to master your own dance…so that we may one day…dance together…

xxx conchita.

Thrilling Thursday: MEN “Respect YourSELF” for December 1st World AIDS Day!

I too often neglect my MEN-folk on this blog…particularly when I blog about sex toys, so today in pre-appreciation of World AIDS Day on December 1st (Saturday) I bring you TENGA a new adult concept in male sex toys from Japan (of course). Even at first glance, you understand WHY these toys are considered a rather high-end notion for pleasuring oneself:

The RESPECT YOURSELF PROJECT is back for its third year. This year sees the return of USA based Chari & Co NYC alongside the new forces of Opening Ceremony, Married to the Mob and HUF, joining forces with TENGA alongside 5 Japanese clothing labels, artist Makoto Aida and cartoonist Santa Inoue, with BLACKSENSE reigning from China completing RYP’s most global line-up to date.
RYP is a project based on a core concept of “Respect Yourself ~ Taking care of yourself will protect you from HIV” started by TENGA in 2010 with a wish to help, in what way we can, to help spread knowledge and awareness of – and to prevent the spread of – AIDS and HIV.

※ Products on sale from Dec.1st 2012 ( World AIDS Day )
※ All products are limited edition with only limited quantities available. Please contact each brand directly for any inquiries.
※ All proceeds will be donated to AIDS charities in participating countries. (Japan, U.S.A. and China)
※ You must be over the age of consent in your location to use this product.

Supported by : Masayuki Hamajima turquoise Co., Ltd. / techne LLC / Nippon Film Industrial Co., Ltd. / Entaniya Co., Ltd. / Tessai Kawakita
…and special thanks to everyone who helped make this project a success

[Countries / Brands]
Japan: roar / Roen / SWAGGER / VANQUISH / XLARGE® / Santa Inoue (Santastic!) / Makoto Aida
USA: Chari&Co NYC / HUF / Married to the Mob / Opening Ceremony
China: BLACKSENSE

[Release Date]
On Sale December 1st World AIDS Day
(*Makoto Aida Model available at Makoto Aida gallery event 17th Nov. Ebisu, Tokyo, JAPAN)

[Price]
Open Price – Contact Brand for further info.

 

I have to admit, I love the concept and the campaign. Tenga is Koichi Matsumoto’s brainchild, and with a background of engineering, design, and mechanics that includes tuning super cars like Lamborghini, I would say his credentials make him well-qualified to tune your penis…so to speak!

Essentially he has created different sleeves to masturbate in, which span the gamut of shape, size, texture, material…and “attitude”.

They look almost too good to dirty with your jizz if you ask me, but no one did. I have to admit I have developed such an immediate a affinity for the Keith Haring design that it makes me wish I had a cock to put it in!

And ladies and gentlemen, I think a Tenga would make such a lovely, attractive, and (possibly) hilarious gift for that man (or men) in your life; one that you won’t be grossed-out by when you find it in the bottom of his closet. Instead, you will admire the artwork, possibly smile and laugh, as you think about what nastiness must have occurred inisde of that gorgeous packaging…it’s surprisingly sexy, the power of wrappings that insinuate the possibility of naughty pleasures just beneath the surface…truly…a win win situation!

Happy masturbating lovies on the Thrilling Thursday!!!

xxx

conchita.