A contradiction…within the multitudes.

Do I contradict myself?

Very well, then I contradict myself,

(I am large, I contain multitudes.)

-Walt Whitman, Song of Myself

Studies show that there are differences in “erotic plasticity” between men and women, and more specifically between those who identify as gay and straight. One study  (2006, Chivers) found that when people were given shown photos of men, women, and bonobo monkeys portrayed in various erotic situations and were then asked to rate how turned on they were; simultaneously, these participants were also hooked up to a Plethysmograph (an erotic lie detector that measures blood flow to the genitals).

The results showed that the men, both gay and straight, were consistent in both their ratings of being turned on and their physical responses. Straight men responded with a higher intensity to the images of women (including gay and hetero- sex scenarios) and gay men to images of men (alone or engaging in a homosexual act). None of the men responded physically or otherwise to the monkey-sex. The findings basically tell us: MEN TELL US WHAT THEY WANT, simply, with no contradictions.

The women’s responses were VERY different.

Both gay and straight women’s Plethysmographic responses “twitched” ACROSS ALL SEXUAL IMAGES: men, women, gay, straight, and…yes, you guessed it, even when looking at BONOBO MONKEY SEX!

There is an important caveat however, unlike the men, these women indicated a low level or “no” sexual excitement on their self-ratings for scenarios that did not reflect their expressed sexual preference (e.g., straight women did not rate lesbian scenes as a turn on and yet their physical ratings indicated otherwise).

Perhaps these findings are not surprising considering our society’s need to tamp down women’s overt sexual expression, these women’s responses did not reflect their bodies’; but, for me, something much more important was brought out in this study:

WOMEN ARE DEEPLY AND TRANSCENDENTALLY SEXUAL CREATURES

This is a fact that I have puzzled on for years,

“What the hell is wrong with me? Why does nearly everything turn me on? Why does what turns me on always seem to be evolving? Why am I so different then how, I have been taught, a women is supposed to BE?”

In the past, my male lovers shamed me for my fantasies…which I realize were deep and wide in their width and breadth, and even now when I fantasize I am a bit shocked by the myriad of scenarios that seem to materialize out of nowhere and manifest in vivid erotic detail. As a result, I have considered myself, and been labeled, a freak. Call it my scientific acumen, which drives my quest for “true” evidence in any explanation…still it’s nice to have my desires vindicated through “proof”…and yet, sad that I ever felt like I needed it in the first place…And therein lies the origin of the contradiction:

A WOMAN WILL NEVER BE AS KINKY AS A MAN.

Oh touche,

We are THAT and SO MUCH MORE…

We are large and within us we contain multitudes of

DESIRES.

happy Friday, xxx c.

Sex Toy Tuesday: A Gift 4 Your Vajayjay

Popularizing Oprah’s term for a vagina leaves a lot to be desired, but I must admit that when my girlfriend MizzJ gifted me with my very own Vajazzle kit…I was, well I was faSINated.

Perhaps in the same way ANY erotic art tickles me, down deep, but maybe it was something more: CREATIVITY!

I  COULD CREATE MY OWN VAGINA ART!

DOCUMENT IT!

FLASH IT!

PEEK AT IT!

And generally just KNOW that IT was there…THERE, making my nether regions brighter, richer, tackier… BEDAZZLED!

What could be more wonderfully ridiculous? Very little, I assure you.

I cannot wait to wear it…this weekend of course…Wait. does one bedazzle their vagina and wear panties? It seems a shame…rather I say let your vagina SHINE THROUGH and go pantiless…in a short skirt…and thigh high stockings…no not for HIM or HER, for YOU silly!

Viva La Vajazzled Vajayjay!

P.S. for those of you that wish to delve further into the art of the vajayjay there is a site, indeed:

http://www.vajazzling.com

Enjoy,

xxx cc

I have been thinking about…VAGINA…of late.

I have been thinking about genitalia today. Womens’ genitals, in particular. From all different perspectives: self, other, senses (all 5), feelings/reactions, sexual, etc. And it has brought up a lot of…well FEELING in me. And why would it not?

Female genitalia have been alternately celebrated (Georgia O’keiff’s “flowers”), disparaged (“that is so ugly!”), condemned (chastity belts), and even demonized (vagina dentate). Thus, unsurprisingly, they bring up a mix of emotions from those of us that possess them…WOMEN.

We feel shame…even humiliation all to often when we gaze upon our own bodies, particularly this part of our bodies:

OUR VAGINA.

Why? Is it so terrible? So horrific an orifice so as to not deserve the pampering and plumping we give our lips…eyes…ears…etc.? I am not ignorant, I understand the deep-psychological social mores when it comes to vaginas: secret, dark, bad…as well as the confusing flip-side offered from those that desire our vaginas, who want nothing more to be inside. But here I am suggesting something a bit more subtle and intimate:

HOW DO YOU SEE YOUR VAGINA?

I once had a girlfriend say to me that she thought her vagina was the “ugliest thing in the world.” So, we did a photo shoot staring…HER VAGINA. True, it was more of an “outie” (your know what I mean) and had a little more to it than most but I decided very quickly looking at the images that her vagina looked very much like a butterfly, unique and quite lovely really. I do believe this experience was positive for her, but I can only speak for myself and say that it was marvelous for me because I began to understand vaginas as unique…different…unlike anything in the world so how could I possible call one (mine) ugly?

It simply IS…A VAGINA…like no other!

And THAT is enough…and so I say to my fellow women…celebrate your vagina…decorate it and care for it as you would any other part of yourself. And for those of you who haven’t I encourage you to gaze at the vaginas around…appreciate them as they are…a beauty unique to women…unlike any other.

xxx c.

Sexy Toy Tuesday (#9): Pre-Historic STYLE!

For this installment of  Sex Toy Tuesday, I decided to look to the past, way “past”…and to ask:

How did ladies of ancient times (and men, for that matter) get-off?

My research has uncovered some fascinating facts…

Sex Toys, and specifically Dildos in one form or another have been present in society throughout history.

Artifacts from the Upper Paleolithic (period) which have previously been described as batons were most likely used for sexual purposes.  However, there appears to be hesitation on the part of archaeologists to label these items as sex toys: as archaeologist Timothy Taylor put it, “Looking at the size, shape, and—some cases—explicit symbolism of the ice age batons, it seems disingenuous to avoid the most obvious and straightforward interpretation. But it has been avoided.” (Wikipedia)

Why? Well it seems that our (oft-exhibited) shame related to sexuality and sexual functions even inhibits our ability to interpret history accurately  (What a shock!). Still, if we eschew puritanical skeptics, it seems that the world’s oldest known dildo is a siltstone 20-centimeter phallus from the Upper Palaeolithic period dating nearly 30,000 years ago-during the ICE-AGE!

Additionally, ancient dildo relics span the globe! Findings of the archaeologists show that ancient Egyptians used dildos 2,500 years ago.

These pre-modern dildos were constructed of stone, tar, wood and other materials that could be shaped as penises and that were firm enough to be used as penetrative sex toys (…obviously).

Chinese women in the 11th through the 15th centuries used dildos made of lacquered wood with beautiful and ornate textured surfaces.

Sex toys were apparently well known to the ancient Greeks and sometimes depicted in art, specifically Greek-vase ceramics. Some pieces show their use in group sex or in solitary female masturbation . One vessel, of about the 6th century BC, depicts a scene in which a woman bends over to perform oral sex on a man, while another man is about to thrust a dildo into her anus.

In addition to countless ceramic depictions, these phallic-shaped toys (or oblisbo meaning ”to glide or slip”) are described in literature of the time and are known to have been commonly given as gifts to Grecian women whose husbands were going off to war or who had passed away.

Recently, in Greece, an ancient brothel was unearthed, revealing a 2,000 year old “sex-toy shop” where stone vaginal and anal probes, penis paraphernalia, and a variety of lubricants were discovered.

But just how prevalent were sex tools in ancient Greek society?   According to numerous historic texts, sex tools–especially penis-shaped dildos–were so integral to day-to-day Grecian life that they were commonly sold in the marketplace, and men and women took them virtually everywhere they went, including the afterlife.

Dildos also have a place in culture…

Dildos are mentioned several times in Aristophanes‘ comedy of 411 BC, Lysistrata.

LYSISTRATA

And so, girls, when fucking time comes… not the faintest whiff of it anywhere, right? From the time those Milesians betrayed us, we can’t even find our eight-fingered leather dildos. At least they’d serve as a sort of flesh-replacement for our poor cunts… So, then! Would you like me to find some mechanism by which we could end this war? (Wikipedia)

Herodas‘ comic Mime VI, written in the 3rd Century BC, is about a woman anxious to discover from a friend where she recently acquired a dildo.

METRO

I beg you, don’t lie,

dear Corrioto: who was the man who stitched for you this bright red dildo? (Wikipedia)

She eventually discovers the maker to be a certain Kerdon, who hides his trade by the front of being a cobbler, and leaves to seek him out.

John Wilmot, the 17th century English libertine, published his poem Signor Dildo in 1673. The piece was meant to be a mock address anticipating the ‘solid’ advantages of a Catholic marriage, namely the wholesale importation of Italian dildos, to the unspeakable joy and comfort of all the ladies of England:

You ladies all of merry England

Who have been to kiss the Duchess’s hand,

Pray, did you not lately observe in the show

A noble Italian called Signor Dildo? …

A rabble of pricks who were welcomed before,

Now finding the porter denied them the door,

Maliciously waited his coming below

And inhumanly fell on Signor Dildo …(Wikipedia)

Comparative evidence from around the world shows that sex toys and tools are common to virtually every known culture on the planet! Are you shocked? No…of course not…you read this BLOG! (insert: light chuckle)….Enjoy Your Sex Toy Tuesday…..xxx c

 

Sex-Toy Tuesday (#5): The psychology of ‘The Naughty School Girl’

Ladies…as a woman who adores the artistic expression that costume offers…I am also not unaware of the erotic possibilities of “dressing up” in the bedroom!

Psychological theorists representing variant perspectives, from Freud to Tajfel & Turner (Social Identity Theory, 1979), have long understood the need for people to explore their multiple identities.

This is of course different from Multiple Personality Disorder, which is a mental diagnosis/disorder…rather, I refer to our desire, need even, to create disparate parts of self in order to feel…complete. You may be asking:

How in the world did she get from playing dress-up to psychological development?

Well…quite naturally actually! I am simply understanding our desires for play…as a manifestation of our:

Multi-Faceted Self…

our Personality Collage!

A healthy expression of the heterogeneous parts of ourselves as distinct personae as opposed to integrated self-states…and what better way to achieve that therapuetic exercise than through:

PLAYING DRESS-UP!

Assuming the identity of an imagined and exaggerated yet appealing “other” was a part of everyone’s childhood…why not re-enact such playful behavior as an adult…from a more sensual perspective? And why not appeal to that nearly iconic archetype:

The Naughty School Girl

Here we arrive at our theme, Sex-Toy Tuesday has inspired this entry suggesting what I find to be perhaps the most tantalizing aphrodisiac of all…foreplay that not only employs the external:

a short play skirt and a prim white blouse

BUT…also pulls on the internal:

the naughty school girl…within us ALL!

I realize that the fall serves for ample opportunities to get dressed-up…and so this year…I challenge you to draw on some of the lesser developed sensual-selves within you…and don a costume that engenders erotic exploration with your partner…both psychologically and…PHYSICALLY!

Happy Play-Time! …xxx c.

Sex Toy Tuesday (#4): Get your ROCKS Off!

Oh I do enjoy CANDY!

As a child my favorite game was: CANDYLAND!

And I particularly LOVE the super sugary type!

From a psychological perspective I think this affinity of mine can be traced to the fact that I was not allowed to eat ANY type of refined sugar…and so…as soon as I was seventeen, and off to college…I made SUGAR the focus of my diet…and promptly passed-out one day!

It turns out that a diet based purely on sugar is actually not healthy!  Go figure!

And so now…for all of us Fructose Fanatics…who also enjoy a little POP when we are POPPIN’ OFF! I have the perfect TREAT:

BJ BLAST:Oral Sex Candy

Product Description:

It’s finally here! The world’s only fizzing, popping, bursting, exploding ORAL SEX CANDY! Just sprinkle some in your mouth and go down for the ride of their life. Eating out will never be the same! Each packet contains enough to share the fun!

As a fan of this erotic accoutrement…I have to say it is most tickliscious fun!

And while not every partner might get turned on by the GIGGLES that will accompany the use of this POPP-Y product…I do guarantee that BOTH parties will END with a satisfying POP-OFF! There is just something about that THROATY tickle that makes EVERYTHING ENTERTAINING…and just a little bit silly!

I don’t know about you but I enjoy a little laughter in the bedroom…not always, but sometimes it’s nice to be erotic and seriously sensual and other times it’s fun to play doctor and laugh together…but then again…I am the girl who laughs hysterically when she cums…so…perhaps I’m not the most objective judge…heehee!

wishing giggles and good sex,

xxx c.