Real Words of LOVE, You Won’t Find in a Card this Valentine’s…but Maybe in a Blunt.

Today, I  have been thinking a lot about love…it is Valentine’s Day, soon…which I know is a ridiculous holiday…but it always seems to pull me in at the last minute…arrrghhh…and despite the cheesy commerciality of the holiday…you know I love love…and today in my daily wanderings I came across some sound relationship advice from none other than Bob Marley. Why does it seem like this man had the secrets of the universe all rolled into a joint?

FOR HER:

“He’s not perfect. You aren’t either, and the two of you will never be perfect. But if he can make you laugh at least once, causes you to think twice, and if he admits to being human and making mistakes, hold onto him and give him the most you can. He isn’t going to quote poetry, he’s not thinking about you every moment, but he will give you a part of him that he knows you could break. Don’t hurt him, don’t change him, and don’t expect for more than he can give. Don’t analyze. Smile when he makes you happy, yell when he makes you mad, and miss him when he’s not there. Love hard when there is love to be had. Because perfect guys don’t exist, but there’s always one guy that is perfect for you.”

FOR HIM:

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She’s not perfect – you aren’t either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break – her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

And with that sage advice…I think we all could lighten up a bit on those we love this Valentine’s…after all it’s not really about candy and flowers…it’s about finding someone to share your world with…your view…your heart…unconditionally…Damn it’s so easy to forget that and yet so essential for love to endure.

xxx

conchita.

For my Friend…on his Birthday.

Gio and I have ben friends more than 20 years now, since we were in our teens. It’s rare that a friendship is both so intimate and so enduring, and I cherish “us” for those qualities and so many more. I could go on and on about the characteristics that qualify great friendship…but I think you know…it’s been said before and anything I might say would only be a reflection of your own experience i am sure. So instead I will offer some words from one of our favorite poets, Pablo Neruda…who we would read aloud to each other late into the night in that tiny colorful apartment on, “5th and B”…Funny how romantic love and sustained friendship (love) share so much in common.

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.”  - 100 Love Sonnets

I love you Gio, today, tomorrow and always, your conchita.

The RIGHT Good-Bye…

I have learned…that no matter how much you want a-thing to continue…

to endure the process, the transformation from one type of relationship into another…

often it is just not to be.

Sometimes…wishing one another the-best…and walking away,

with love in your heart, is the best recourse.

I have learned…to say, “Good-bye,”

to you.

xxx c.

(Liechtenstein & Beikman images)

Allow Yourself to be Captured…XXX-Posed

Have you ever allowed your lover to photograph you?

If the answer is, “no,” then you should.

It’s not about looking like a centerfold or being shot on your “better side.”

It’s really not about your body.

It’s not even about YOU per say.

It’s about trust.

Being exposed to your partner, your lover:

The one who knows you in your most intimate moments, when you lose yourself to passion, to pain, to desire, to…THEM.

Why then, does this playful act often create so much anxiety, even in those of us self-professed exhibitionists?

It seems so much easier to snap self-portrait nudes, with our cell phone, than with our lover.

Why?

I think I have answered my own question, as so often is the case:

All too often it’s the ones we surrender the most to that we feel the most NAKED with.

With that reflection, that perhaps I needed more than you, I encourage you…(myself included)…to:

TAKE IT ALL OFF for a playful photo shoot with The One (or two, or three, etc.) who makes your heart race, the one you love so much that exposing your body to their “eye” is equivalent to baring your soul.

Why?

Because we ALL deserve to TRUST someone THAT much.

Now…get ready for your close-up…I’m coming over!

xxx c.

Yes…it is (sadly) IRONIC

It is a universal truth that we (too) often favor the negative and overlook the positive when it comes to those we love…assuring ourselves that, “He/She/They KNOWs I love them!” I am making an effort to reverse that habit, so that you don’t just “know” I LOVE YOU, but hear it, feel it, sense it…ALL THE TIME!

Happy Monday, xxx c

A moment to hold: “I have scarcely left you…”

Absense

I have scarcely left you 
When you go in me, crystalline,
Or trembling,
Or uneasy, wounded by me
Or overwhelmed with love, as
when your eyes 
Close upon the gift of life
That without cease I give you.

My love, 
We have found each other
Thirsty and we have 
Drunk up all the water and the
Blood, 
We found each other
Hungry 
And we bit each other
As fire bites,
Leaving wounds in us. 

But wait for me, 
Keep for me your sweetness.
I will give you too 
A rose

-Neruda

PRIDE…because EVERYONE deserves to LOVE, their way!

Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of all laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little State- and Church-begotten weed, marriage?

EMMA GOLDMAN, Anarchism and Other Essays

Feisty Friday (Quotes): Flaws & All

I’m a train wreck in the morning
I’m a bitch in the afternoon
Every now and then without warning
I can be really mean towards you

I’m a puzzle yes indeed
Ever complex in every way
And all the pieces aren’t even in the box
And yet, you see the picture clear as day

I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me, flaws and all
And that’s why I love you
And that’s why I love you
And that’s why I love. . . mmmm

I neglect you when I’m working
When I need attention I tend to nag
I’m a host of imperfection
And you see past all that

I’m a peasant by some standards
[ From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/b/beyonce-lyrics/flaws-and-all-lyrics.html ]
But in your eyes I’m a queen
You see potential in all my flaws
And that’s exactly what I mean

I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me, flaws and all
And that’s why I love you
And that’s why I love you
And that’s why I love. . .you

I don’t know why you love me
And that’s why I love you
You catch me when I fall
Accept me flaws and all
And that’s why I love you
And that’s why I love you
And that’s why I love you
You, you, you

-Beyonce

It should always be this simple…xxx c

I just finished the start of a new vampy suspense series by Christopher Buecheler, The Blood That Bonds. I originally picked it up because it was FREE on Nook…still it had solid reviews and since i read at least one or two books a week I thought it was a good gamble…and it was. While the actual technical writing is only fair, the author does a great job of creating characters that you really care about and then creating a backdrop and plotline that send you on an emotional ride…definitely a cliff hanger ending…but if you are in the mood for a quick read with a kick ass main character and a world where vamps abound…give this one a shot! xxx c

Reading The Queen’s Blade, first in a series by TC Southwell.

It is a historical fantasy/drama/romance/adventure and quite well written especially considering it is a FREE DOWNLOAD on Nook Now!

Get it, xxx c