Whether I am the voyeur (aka “audience member”) or the exhibitionist (aka “performer”) I LOVE making an intimate act, public. There is an incredible rush to share desire and arousal not only with one…but with MANY.
In these special shared moments, emotions seem to multiply and develop ten-fold until a crescendo of energy creates frenzy!
It doesn’t always occur, but when it does…it is an orgasm of the collective soul!
The Pacha PeepShow with Vargas was one such performance. I had the pleasure of collaborating with Kat ForTra ( http://www.ForTraDVD.com ) and indeed, it was all my pleasure and quite a show. A friend of mine captured some of it (Carnell thank you), and I pass it on for your pleasure…nothing like a little mutual masturbation huh?
I am obsessed with Lady Gaga’s Marry the Night video…
…& not just for its representation of completely relatable & personal (to me) life barriers (that are ultimately transformed into inspiration): psychosis, trauma, psychology, creativity, pointe, dance, art, relationships, failure…but for the message that success develops only out of the determination to NEVER GIVE UP…something all of us can relate to!
To embrace and then re-CREATE traumatic events in one’s life, to re-form the impossible not simply into the possible, but into achievement…is a belief that instructs and inspires my every thought.
It’s nice when art pushes limits & asks us to not simply attend, but to reflect on its application to our lives.
Not Made to Hold Zombie hands aren’t hard to draw. They look like paddles or mitts. Zombie sex is unambiguous.
-Tom Beckett
***This post was inspired by my love of zombies/horror generally and specifically by a photo shoot done last night with Kat ForTra (of http://www.ForTraDVD.com fame), plus some of my favorite people (Mark and Jess’), and the Blood Manor Team (Liquidmatter Reverence, Roberto Garcia, artist extraordinaire specifically)…amazing night….images to follow (by BPS Productions Pics and Vids)***
And on this Monday…I feel a little like the undead…walking dead? brain dead? HAPPY MONDAY! xxx c
I think that everyone should cultivate aspects of creative freedom in their lives, it doesn’t have to be so…brash or overtly sexual…I only mean that I believe every person should incorporate acts of imaginings in their daily living…it’s what keeps us feeling…ALIVE!
xxx c
(performance images from Chriss Vargas’ Peepshow @ PachaNYC with the lovely Kat Forta of http://www.fortadvd.com)
I know some of you may have been waiting for the opportunity for while (haha) but it was the beautiful goddess Mistress Kat Fortra (www.fortradvd.com) who had the honor during our performance for Chriss Vargas PeepShow 3 at the infamous Pacha NYC!
Yes, that is video from the performance above and an image below…and yes I with go into the experience in further detail, but back to the Sex-Toy tuesday task at hand!
It had be awhile since I had been subjected to a ball gag…having used one more than a couple times in my work as a domina, and before that as a model for an “adult-toy” website, and I recalled it as a slobbery and humorous if humiliating experience on the whole. BUT…here I was with a brand new toy…a show to do and like 6 attachments for my shiny new black ball gag! Time to woman-up and use it damnit!
And so I did (as the footage attests).
this ball gag was a bit different than others I had both employed and enjoyed. It had a ring around the rim so that you could hold onto it with your teeth without drooling like a mad-dog…this was an asset as it may have been bad if I flung spittle all over the Pacha crowd…although they might have liked it…those sick fucks. Anyway, that was a nice adjustment to the gag, also the face strap was wide and secure serving as a platform for all manner of butting and straining I might want to do (AND DID) with the attachments which included:
1. A leash…LOVE!
2. A duster
3. A brush
4. An ashtray
6. And…my personal fav’…A LARG BLACK DILDO!
We chose to use numbers one and six…and I think the crowd enjoyed the show…I def revelled in playing with them on…with one exception:
I CAN BARELY MOVE MY NECK THREE DAYS LATER!
Ah…but such is the price of a REALLY GREAT SEX-TOY…and well worth it, if I do say so myself!
I hope to give you a glimpse into JUST THAT…a look into the private sexual life of a woman…A bit of PURE fantasy? YES…of course…as it is meant to “set for the stage”…but I ALWAYS pull from real-life…how could I not?!
And so…let me set the stage for you, please step into my PEEPSHOW:
A woman…in LUST with another woman.
A slave to her fantasies, she is led into a space of DESIRE where she is at the whim of her mistress.
She submits…she bends to her mistress’ whims…until…the woman finds her own WILL, and THRUSTS that POWER onto her lover.
The woman explores her desires fully with her lover…trading submission for DOMINATION.
Again they come together…in each other’s arms.
Thank you…for sharing this moment with me and I do hope you can make it out this weekend! Xxx c
It was the Roaring 20′s when Josephine Baker enjoyed initial success as a performer. The zeitgeist of the time created the perfect backdrop for a woman who represented racial-difference, sensuality, strength, creativity, and talent to rise to fame. And rise she did, like a meteor, in Paris particularly Ms. Baker became one of the most highly paid and appreciated artists of her time. Of course, all of this attention was not without it’s flip-side as she also endured racism and segregation in the U.S. However, she never backed down and was as famous as champion of causes as she was as a performer. Take a moment if you will to read the short biography and to enjoy some of her most iconic performances, below…
Josephine Baker sashayed onto a Paris stage during the 1920s with a comic, yet sensual appeal that took Europe by storm. Famous for barely-there dresses and no-holds-barred dance routines, her exotic beauty generated nicknames “Black Venus,” “Black Pearl” and “Creole Goddess.” Admirers bestowed a plethora of gifts, including diamonds and cars, and she received approximately 1,500 marriage proposals. She maintained energetic performances and a celebrity status for 50 years until her death in 1975. Unfortunately, racism prevented her talents from being wholly accepted in the United States until 1973.
Humble beginnings
She was born Freda Josephine McDonald in St. Louis, Missouri, on June 3, 1906 to washerwoman Carrie McDonald and vaudeville drummer Eddie Carson. Eddie abandoned them shortly afterward, and Carrie married a kind but perpetually unemployed man named Arthur Martin…
Josephine grew up cleaning houses and babysitting for wealthy white families who reminded her “be sure not to kiss the baby.” She got a job waitressing at The Old Chauffeur’s Club when she was 13 years old. While waiting tables she met and had a brief marriage to Willie Wells. While it was unusual for a woman during her era, Josephine never depended on a man for financial support. Therefore, she never hesitated to leave when a relationship soured. She was married and divorced three more times, to American Willie Baker in 1921 (whose last name she chose to keep), Frenchman Jean Lion in 1937 (from whom she attained French citizenship) and French orchestra leader Jo Bouillon in 1947 (who helped to raise her 12 adopted children).
Josephine toured the United States with The Jones Family Band and The Dixie Steppers in 1919, performing various comical skits. When the troupes split, she tried to advance as a chorus girl for The Dixie Steppers in Sissle and Blake’s production Shuffle Along. She was rejected because she was “too skinny and too dark.” Undeterred, she learned the chorus line’s routines while working as a dresser. Thus, Josephine was the obvious replacement when a dancer left. Onstage she rolled her eyes and purposely acted clumsy. The audience loved her comedic touch, and Josephine was a box office draw for the rest of the show’s run.
Parisian sensation
She enjoyed moderate success at The Plantation Club in New York afterShuffle Along. However, when Josephine traveled to Paris for a new venture, La Revue Nègre, it proved to be a turning point in her career. Amongst a compilation of acts, Josephine and dance partner Joe Alex captivated the audience with the Danse Sauvage. Everything about the routine was new and exotic, and Josephine, boldly dressed in nothing but a feather skirt, worked the audience into frenzy with her uninhibited movements. She was an overnight sensation.
Josephine’s immense popularity afforded her a comfortable salary, which she spent mostly on clothes, jewelry and pets. She loved animals, and at one time she owned a leopard (Chiquita), a chimpanzee (Ethel), a pig (Albert), a snake (Kiki), a goat, a parrot, parakeets, fish, three cats and seven dogs.
Her career thrived in the integrated Paris society; when La Revue Nègre closed, Josephine starred in La Folie du Jour at the Follies-Bergère Theater. Her jaw-dropping performance, including a costume of 16 bananas strung into a skirt, cemented her celebrity status. Josephine rivaled Gloria Swanson and Mary Pickford as the most photographed woman in the world, and by 1927 she earned more than any entertainer in Europe. She starred in two movies in the early 1930s, Zou-Zou andPrincess Tam-Tam, and moved her family from St. Louis to Les Milandes, her estate in Castelnaud-Fayrac, France.
A 1936 return to the United States to star in the Ziegfield Follies proved disastrous, despite the fact that she was a major celebrity in Europe. American audiences rejected the idea of a black woman with so much sophistication and power, newspaper reviews were equally cruel (The New York Times called her a “Negro wench”), and Josephine returned to Europe heartbroken.
Righting wrongs
Josephine served France during World War II in several ways. She performed for the troops, and was an honorable correspondent for the French Resistance (undercover work included smuggling secret messages written on her music sheets) and a sub-lieutenant in the Women’s Auxiliary Air Force. She was later awarded the Medal of the Resistance with Rosette and named a Chevalier of the Legion of Honor by the French government for hard work and dedication.
Josephine visited the United States during the 50s and 60s with renewed vigor to fight racism. When New York’s popular Stork Club refused her service, she engaged a head-on media battle with pro-segregation columnist Walter Winchell. The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) named May 20 Josephine Baker Day in honor of her efforts.
It was also during this time that she began adopting children, forming a family she often referred to as “The Rainbow Tribe.” Josephine wanted her to prove that “children of different ethnicities and religions could still be brothers.” She often took the children with her cross-country, and when they were at Les Milandes tours were arranged so visitors could walk the grounds and see how natural and happy the children in “The Rainbow Tribe” were…
Sad farewells
Josephine agreed to perform at New York’s Carnegie Hall that same year. Due to previous experience, she was nervous about how the audience and critics would receive her. This time, however, cultural and racial growth was evident. Josephine received a standing ovation before the concert even began. The enthusiastic welcome was so touching that she wept onstage.
On April 8, 1975 Josephine premiered at the Bobino Theater in Paris. Celebrities such as Princess Grace of Monaco and Sophia Loren were in attendance to see 68-year-old Josephine perform a medley of routines from her 50 year career. The reviews were among her best ever. Days later, however, Josephine slipped into a coma. She died from a cerebral hemorrhage at 5 a.m. on April 12.
More than 20,000 people crowded the streets of Paris to watch the funeral procession on its way to the Church of the Madeleine. The French government honored her with a 21-gun salute, making Josephine Baker the first American woman buried in France with military honors. Her gravesite is in the Cimetiére de Monaco, Monaco.
Josephine Baker has continued to intrigue and inspire people throughout the world. In 1991, HBO released The Josephine Baker Story. The movie won two Emmys, for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Miniseries (Lynn Whitfield) and Outstanding Art Direction. The movie also picked up one of three Golden Globe nominations. -http://www.cmgww.com/stars/baker/about/biography.html
Josephine Baker, she left us a legacy that speaks to equality in creative expression…talented, powerful and enduring she is a true iconic inspiration.
Oh how I enjoy costumes…makeup…creation…it is the realization of all of my fantasies…it makes-real the things that cannot be…allowing me to act as if…giving voice to the parts of me that do not get the delights of expression in my daily life…living as the dark…the naughty…the sinister:
One of the “exclusive” skills of a clinical psychologist is to administer psychological tests…many are personality or psychiatric related, some assess intellectual functioning and ye,s that includes THE infamous IQ Test….the one that is supposed to tell you how “smart” you are but actually measures your ability to fit into the mold of what (mainstream) society deems as intelligence.
Don’t get me wrong, these tests have their place and are certainly helpful when given to younger people seeking benefits and assistance through the educational system for specific deficits or for adults who have suffered traumatic brain injuries…BUT…for most of us, their use is limited to pigeonholing us as “average“. NOT that there is a thing wrong with AVERAGE…except that, having experienced and appreciated my fair share of the more creative aspects of live, I have to say…I think we as individuals are a bit more nuanced when it comes to our INTELLIGENCE.
I have come to the belief (through the possession of this “special knowledge”) that in fact, true intelligence cannot be found simply through reading books, collecting information and skill-sets, perfecting a technique, or by accumulating degrees…Rather true intelligence rests in the ability to absorb, analyze, and then APPLY that learning…perhaps taking a feeling/a moment/history/an idea/a movement and then re-understanding it as representative of a larger pattern that then becomes: art/music/dance/writing…and speaks to millions or just one…intelligence is…about the ability to create connections where before there were NONE…intelligence is creativity!
Shibari (literally meaning bondage) is a Japanese style of sexual bondage or BDSM. Shibari involves tying up the bottom (or uke) in intricate patterns, usually with several pieces of thin rope. Shibari differs from Western bondage in that, instead of just immobilizing or restraining the bottom, the bottom gains pleasure from being under pressure and strain of the ropes, squeezing the breasts or genitals. The aesthetics of the bound person’s position are also important: in particular, Japanese bondage is notorious for its use of asymmetric positions to heighten the psychological impact of bondage.
I came to the ropes at a transitional stage in my life: I was in the midst of what I felt was a crisis, but in actuality I was experiencing the acute tension of an evolution.
I had recently began to express and explore my bisexuality…I had begun going to swinger and BDSM events…I was on the cusp of my practicum training as a clinician…Basically, I felt lost…deconstructed…pressured…and very very messy…and then…
I met this man, at a “sex” party…he explained that he was a photographer and wanted to shoot me…I was vaguely interested, but drawn more to his erotic rope-art which he described as Shibari…what I saw was a woman, bound and suspended…immobilized and yet embodying the beauty of a sculpture…and that is what made me call…
That first shoot with Steven Speliotis was, not to be cliché, life changing. Yes, the experience fed into my exhibitionist needs, later expressed in multiple capacities, but more than that…The ROPES…the ropes…oh the ropes!
To be bound…to be tied…to have the smooth braided texture of the rope caress and then contain my being…I had never felt so…HELD…I had never felt so sensual…I had never felt so safe…so at peace.
This combination of sensuality and safety was unknown to me, as a child of abuse…and yet it was undeniably REAL. Bound and fixed…I felt more collected…more actualized…more complete than perhaps I ever had. It was as if the ropes achieved what no parent or loved one had…they held me tight…without desire or exploitation.
Shortly after that first shoot, I was interviewed by an English publication about the experience of Shibari, and here is an except from that interview(frm, vol.1, issue 7, 2005):
I was an only child brought up by fairly strict parents, and experienced my fair share of discipline and spanking. SM, as both a concept and in practice , has been an interest of mine probably since I could conceive of such a thing. But, more recently, I have come to see bondage as a metaphor for many of the more difficult obstacles I have encountered in life, somehow representing the tension between pain and enjoyment…(after being exposed to Shibari) I was fascinated by the beauty and intricacy of being bound in a fabulous web of knots. When someone is bound like that they look as if they are a human sculpture, a thing of beauty and pain–that is the dialectic that best describes this form of bondage to me…I love the intricacy, the web-like designs that encompass my whole body as if in a womb of some kind. It feels like protection, as a force holding me together…for me, this requires surrender of the self; only then comes the eroticism, as if an undercurrent or a necessary side-effect.(p. 48-50)
Shibari eventually evolved from simple photoshoots to performance art…and I have enjoyed it greatly as such throughout the past 5 years…performing at various erotic parties throughout the Northeast.
Trained at a classical ballerina as a child, Shibari seemed a natural “fit” for me…combining physical strength and athleticism with grace…sexuality…and control.
Historically, Shibari was a form of martial arts in Japan morphing later into artistic expression and finally a sexual/BDSM act…still it’s roots depict a history steeped in meaning and that I believe accurately portrays Shibari’s dialectical nature.
After simple rope ties…I wanted to experience suspension…but having an athletic background my real desire was to do something more dynamic than the rope-suspension I had observed wherein the participant is bound and suspended in paralysis…I wanted to fly…I wanted to work my ropes like a marionette…in essence I wanted to be my own marionette.
And I did…
I did a performance with a 50 foot drop. Suspended by rope…set on hangers, acting as pullies…I supported by own weight essentially. What a rush…what stength…what great accomplishment I felt…FLYING THROUGH THE AIR…flipping…twisting and turning…on my own accord…this was a marked change in the previous Shibari I had experienced…I had gone from passive participant, to actively instigator.
Interestingly, my life at this time also reflected this movement…I was graduating. I was a doctor, finally. I had just gotten married…I had successfully created some erotic projects…I felt unbound…I felt like FLYING…and so I did…literally.
No doubt it was time…to embrace my BONDS and make them WORK for me…with me…to HELP me…it was a wonderful moment and I think an accurate reflection of how sometimes art imitates life.
Today…I am bound less and bind more. Now, I tie those up that wish to experience Shibari…my form is more intuitive than trained (perhaps THAT is next!)…but I enjoy it, I enjoy seeing the pleasure and emotion in my “partner’s” eyes, similar to mine and yet individual and reflective of their own experience…
In the end I think bondage is such a fascinating metaphor for life: relationships, life-states, feelings…and strangely it seems that only through recognizing and understanding our (own particular) bonds that we find freedom, resolution and ultimately…PEACE.
