Dance.

“Dance, when you’re broken open. Dance, if you’ve torn the bandage off. Dance in the middle of the fighting. Dance in your blood. Dance when you’re perfectly free.” - Rumi

It’s nothing new to say that dance is an expression of the spirit that has existed since (and perhaps before) humankind. People have danced in celebration, in loss, in ritual. However, to me, the most striking feature of dance is its ability to communicate a nearly pure form of emotion…without the mess and inaccuracy of words…dance is feeling…dance speaks what we cannot fully articulate…dance draws us in and has the capacity to draw our real-self out.

And the only thing asked of us…is to: “let go”…let your body control your mind…an awkward exchange for many of us…perhaps that’s why alcohol and other illicit substances are such an integral part of nightlife in today…quite simply, we need help letting go. Not to criticize, I require that extra courage as much as the next…but it does beg the question:

Have we as humans gotten so far from the mind-body connection that truly surrendering mind to body presents such a challenge?

I have no real answer to the conundrum I’ve posed…just something that while rolling around on social media came to mind…and since I am all about exploring the physical-sensual through the lens of mindfulness, I thought I would pass it on as fodder for those intrigued by similar questions…hope you have a fabulous weekend, xxx conchita.

Give Me 10 Minutes…I Will Show You My Fantasy

Sometimes the night lends itself to playful imaginings…

Sometimes…I have to undress in order to play dress-up…

For you.

This night I mingled fantasies with LastnightsParty.com at Webster Hall’s in famous Trash party, with host Kris Khaos…

and what a lovely time we had mixing nothing but

lipstick,

Jeffery Campbell,

tattoos

sound equipment,

a mic,

 and a tongue.

Thank you for loaning me your lens…and cheers to weekend memories

xxx conchita.

Bound: Thoughts from a Rope Demonstration @ A Sexy Zombie Apocalypse NYC

I have always loved ropes…I took to ropes in a way  I never did to the whips, or clamps, or verbal barbs of BDSM.

Bondage feels natural, to me; it feels like home.

When I am wrapped (bound) I feel safe, complete, protected…in my restraint. As if I can finally give up on all of the struggles in daily life and just relax into the ropes…the ropes will support me…they will hold me…and if I release…they will deliver me from pain into pleasure.

When I bind another, I feel in control…I feel honored. I feel their trust. A mix of serious concern (for their safety) and waves of pleasure flood my mind. I can always see in their eyes when the session moves from “fun” to the realization that they are dependent on me…completely…they are vulnerable. 

I love this moment…I lean in and give her a kiss to reassure her that she hasn’t misplaced her trust…and then I watch her melt into surrender…and the fun begins: she moves, she reaches, she grabs…the ropes become a part of her, an extension of her sexual desire…and I smile, my intentions met.

The above describes much of what you’ll see in the video (shot by Joel of Kamenwati Productions) below from a Halloween event last weekend. My partner, spontaneously volunteered…and this is what she got:

I hope you enjoyed the video…and I would well wishes to everyone recovering from Sandy on the east coast my heart is with you all,

xxx conchita.

“What kind of party IS this?”

“What kind of party is this?”

I have heard it time and time again, concerning my events or smaller get togethers.

The simple answer is:

“It’s an intimate event for friends and lovers.”

The implied meaning being:

This is an adult-themed sexually-charged party, for those who comfortable enough with themselves and their loved ones to explore and express their desires in a respectful and safe manner.

Response:

“Oh so it’s a swinger party!”

Answer:

“No, this is a party for everyone, inclusive of all orientations, genders, fetishes, disabilities…abilities…shapes…sizes, etcetera.”

Question:

“Do people have sex?”

Response:

“If they want; no, if they do not want.”

Question:

“Are they naked?”

Answer:

“No, usually it’s just me…and anyone else who I am successful at undressing.”

I suppose the short of it is:

I wanted to create an atmosphere of sensual abandon, not a place of a singular or exclusive mindset, rather an INCLUSIVE mindset…a space where people perhaps get to be and do things they have only fantasized about in erotic imaginings. It’s a rather ambitious mission statement I realize, but it’s mine…and my only wish is to make it OUR REALITY.

As my friend Marselette always says, “Party on, or move on.”

xxx conchita.

(image credit: www.bpsproductions.com)

New Explorations…

This weekend will be my first private event in a long while, and to say I am  excited would be an understatement.

I began throwing events in NYC almost 10 years ago and have always had partners as I enjoy the discovery of collaboration. This event is in collaboration with Sax DMA from The Vanilla Party (check their blog HERE, tasty images abound!), and promises to be a rather eclectic and entertaining new beginning. As you know, if you have perused any aspect of my blog, I enjoy fantasy and costume paired with anything erotic, and you can be sure this event will encompass all three of those essential components!

1. Fantasy: A “Back to School” theme

2. Costume:  Nerds, sexy school girls, pervy gym coaches, jocks, and geeks will represent

3. Erotic: I am not sure I have ever thrown a party where everyone actually kept their clothes on!

The most compelling part of this event is that it is NOT for any single group or subgroup (swingers, hipsters, BDSM, fetish, alt, gay, straight, black., white…you get the idea), this event is for EVERYONE!

Everyone who desires a bit more titillation and substance from their night-out, those who want to go home with memories that make them grin and maybe a bite mark or two to make them cringe the next day…and then smile!

When I started throwing parties it was to bring people together, to offer a space that would foster the development a unique network of friends who don’t judge rather who love, accept, and encourage. I have that. I am thankful…and to be honest I just want to keep it going…for YOU…for me!

and now…LET’S FUCKING GET THIS PARTY STARTED!!!

xxx conchita.

Great to Be a Nerd

It’s great to be a nerd, it’s great to be a nerd
The only light we ever see is from our moniter

We argue about comic books and internet connections
The biggest highlight of the year is the star trek convention
Our town’s not big enough to sign up any stars
But we once met a red shirt who was phasered by a borg
(man, he knew mr. sulu!) (what? )

It’s great to be a nerd, it’s great to be a nerd
We wear our star trek uniforms and talk like captain kirk

We have our own heroes who we try to emulate
I dream of one day being as sexy as bill gates
We hate watching sports ’cause we’re reading carl sagan
But we’d watch the olympics if they played dungeons and dragons
(I’m a hobbitt! ha ha ha ha!)

It’s great to be a nerd, it’s great to be a nerd
We think tolkein was a genius and shakespeare was a turd

We rarely get a date or get talked to by a girl
Unless they’re having trouble with their algebra homework
We’re emotionally bereft and we’re sexually frustrated
But we can download photographs of agent scully naked

It’s great to be a nerd, it’s great to be a nerd
We know the truth is out there but we’d have to leave our room

We are the nerds in your neighbourhood
Polyester’s a fashion statement
But there’s more room on the beach for you
’cause we’re locked in our basement

It’s great to be a nerd, it’s great to be a nerd
We like to wear colours that do not appear in nature

It’s great to be a
Poorly-dressed fashionless
Star trekking roleplaying
Ninety pound when wet down
Pasty skinned pop drinking
Underfed genius
Yes, it’s great to be a nerd

(from Arrogant Worms)

The Vanilla Party 'Smooth and Creamy" Pics, NYC

Reblogged from The Vanilla Party:

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

DMA Events NYC's Vanilla Party last month was such an intriguing mix of guests…the images capture the feel perfectly…I look forward to the next experience! Enjoy the tease...and yes, I am the blond with the crop-cut...xxx conchita.

(OUR) Wild Night!

This Saturday was one to remember…yes, it was a WILD NIGHT: we celebrated, we danced, we partied, we laughed, we kissed, we gave lap dances, we sang, we drank, we talked, we shared…but more than that: WE LOVED ONE ANOTHER…and that is the memory I (we) can hold on to FOREVER! Cheers to Wild Nights! xxx c.

Wild nights! Wild nights! 
Were I with thee, 
Wild nights should be 
Our luxury!

Futile the winds 
To a heart in port, 
Done with the compass, 
Done with the chart.

Rowing in Eden! 
Ah! the sea! 
Might I but moor 
To-night in thee!

-Emily Dickinson

VIDEO from Pacha PeepShow EROTIC Performance with Kat ForTra

I love live erotic performance!

Whether I am the voyeur (aka “audience member”) or the exhibitionist (aka “performer”) I LOVE making an intimate act, public. There is an incredible rush to share desire and arousal not only with one…but with MANY.

In these special shared moments, emotions seem to multiply and develop ten-fold until a crescendo of energy creates frenzy!

It doesn’t always occur, but when it does…it is an orgasm of the  collective soul!

The Pacha PeepShow with Vargas was one such performance. I had the pleasure of collaborating with Kat ForTra ( http://www.ForTraDVD.com ) and indeed, it was all my pleasure and quite a show. A friend of mine captured some of it (Carnell thank you), and I pass it on for your pleasure…nothing like a little mutual masturbation huh?

Enjoy, xxx c.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Monday’s Poem: ‘Halloween,’ by Sandra Beasley

Somewhere in town tonight,

a woman is discovering

her inner Sexy Pirate.

This is not to be confused

with one’s inner Sexy Witch,

Sexy Kitten, Sexy Librarian,

Sexy Bo Peep, Sexy Vampire,

Sexy Race Car Driver, or

inner Sexy Ophthalmologist.

She forgot to buy ribbon,

so she threads the corset’s eyelets

with gym shoes laces.

She re-poofs the sleeves

of her buccaneer blouse.

Arrrr, she says to the mirror.

Argh, the mirror sighs in return.

Once I asked my mother why

anyone would wear tights like that

to net a fish.

Wouldn’t your legs get cold?

Wouldn’t your heels slip

on the wet deck of a ship? Shush,

my mother said, adjusting the wig

on her Sexy Cleopatra.

Somewhere in town tonight,

a sitter sets out the pumpkin.

A girl studies its fat head.

They punch its eyes in, so

it can see. They cut its mouth out,

so it can smile. Now you bring it

to life, the sitter will say.

And where its seeds had been,

the girl will place a flame.

xxx c.

Swinger Events: How they changed me, and how I’ve changed…

I have a party coming up this weekend–a lifestyle/swinger party–and, as always, as the party draws nearer I receive messages from those interested in attending and questions about, “what is it like?” which leads to a process of sharing that ALWAYS gets me thinking about how “what it’s like” to ME is a constantly evolving experience.

In the beginning, 7 years back now, lifestyle events were about experiencing everything I could; I was actually gorging on every sexual fantasy I had: grabbing, kissing, licking…(softly chuckling as I write this)…I was alike a wild animal. And, I think I NEEDED to be. It was a time of growing stress and anticipation in my professional life (training in psych), I was newly single and seeing an equally adventurous new partner, and as someone who always goes with her instinct (for better or worse) I let my hedonistic side loose and…INDULGED—releasing a need for freedom and expression…and I don’t regret a millisecond of it.

Later, as my love relationships became more stable, the parties were more about exploring together. Emotions would intervene at times, giving some parties a bit of a negative tone as boundaries were established, but I still felt they were an integral part of who I was both in a relationship and as a person. I performed and I hosted…the parties were my social outlet and my platform for creative and sexual expression (for me those two experiences are inextricably tied). Interestingly, the events also became less important to my own relationship and more vital to my friendships and sexual relationships with women. In fact my current partner was convinced I was a lesbian when we met…indeed, I do love men, but I certainly feel less self-conscious, sexually, with women.

Now, parties are different. There is a feeling of “been there, done that” and much of the pure excitement and anxiety has passed, but that isn’t a bad shift, rather a natural one. When I go to parties, I see my friends and we meet on the same ground: a safe place for sensuality and exploration, one of mutual respect and understanding that feels…DAMN GOOD! Like walking into your favorite bar or restaurant, only everyone is naked! Ha! Okay, so maybe my comparison is a little off, but the feeling isn’t. I love these parties, to this day, not because I am a “swinger” but because I am a lover of ALL THAT IS SENSUAL…and I won’t apologize, because there is no need…for me, or for YOU!

Just enjoy!

And if you are around NYC this weekend, stop by the Sexxymofo Party, and I’ll show you ALL ABOUT IT!

Xxx c