Halloween has us all in a tizzy this time of year, whether last-minute planning costumes for children or creating some imaginative ensemble for a soiree of the adult-kind, many of us are inundated with thoughts of…
PUMPKINS, SCARECROWS, HORROR MOVIES, MONSTERS, VAMPIRES, WEREWOLVES, ZOMBIES, WITCHES…and all manner of creatures of the night!
Truly it seems that Halloween caters to adults as much as it does children…and as a holiday that celebrates the darker side of life and fantasy…that’s not really a surprise.
Still when I reflected on this week’s entry: adult sex-toys and Halloween, I have to admit I was at a loss…until I did a bit of research…and voila! I discovered some Tasty Halloween Treats meant to do more than just Trick!
Let us begin with a little excitement from the dark-side…some (if you will forgive my rough-language) undead-cock. For those with a full-on Twilight “hard-on” (now please forgive my bad pun)…I bring you: “Edward“…or at least his…ummm MEMBER
And not only does this High Grade “Twilight Vamp Dildo” have all the qualities to get-the-job-done
- Realistic dildo in a deathly pale flesh tone for those that fantasize about being tantalized by the forbidden
- Well endowed head for erotic penetration and satisfying shaft texturized with subtle veining for a spellbinding experience
- Large base makes it easier to hold, perfect for “O” ring harnesses, and great for use on flat surfaces.
It also includes authentic extra:
Don’t save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch him sparkle! (www.mypleasure.com)
Yes…The Vamp sparkles and glitters in the sun mimicking our favorite young Twilight Lovers with bloody perfection!
For those of you who prefer a more classic approach to your Halloween Sex Toys, I present:
At over $200, this custom-made toy is not for the casual undead fan, rather I would recommend this toy for the serious ZOMBIE-PHILE! As the website details:
Zombi: All it wants is your warm human flesh. A bloated, rotting, pustulant abomination. Choose from a variety of festering colours.
Size: ~7″ Long total and 1.5″ Across with clit stimulating arteries, and textured rotting penis head… so grotesque as to be amazing!This hand crafted and body safe silicone dildo is more detailed than any dildo you have ever seen before. The artists not only have sculpted an insane monstrosity for you from the influence of some of your favorite horror classics… but they also hand paint each dildo to give it personality, and gruesome reality. It is a labor of love to make these phalo-horrors, so they’re not cheap. But they are, in 2 words, perfectly horrific. (www.kinkengineering.com)
And I ask you…who wouldn’t want a decayed green disembodied penis to play with on a spooky Halloween Night?
On second thought…don’t answer that…instead let’s move on to my NEXT offering…something we can all enjoy together…or at least those of us over the age-of-consent:
Yes…you read correctly, what I present you is the first X-Rated Pumpkin…Behold, THE PORNKIN!
The website’s slogan is, “CARVE THIS.” And they seem to be going for the young and partying crowd by the looks of their promo-video featuring scantily-clad barbies bouncing through a club…interstingly, there’s neither a pumpkin nor a pornkin in sight…I suppose it is implied:
porn-girls = PORNKIN (?)
Regardless, the concept is super creative and while this HALLOWEEN I will not be indulging in dildos of the undead type…I think I will be carving-up a lil porn-pumpkin art…why not? It’s not like kids ever come tricker-treating anymore…so I guess I will just sit home this year, eat an entire package of snack-sized kiddie-candies and indulge in a little Pumpkin-Porno!
TRICK OR TREAT…or in this case, I suppose it’s a little of both!
Happy Sex Toy Tuesday…and a VERY Happy & Safe Halloween to YOU, xxx c
