Do Women NEED to Cum?

Oh, women and our orgasms…perhaps, one of the most over-strived-for and under-appreciated experiences in our lives…males, female, self, other…WE WOMEN WANT TO CUM! But here is the real question:

Do we NEED to cum?

Yesterday I wrote a post about masturbation as an exercise in mindfulness, which really got me thinking about…well, about cumming. Later that day I came upon (you know it’s punny) a quote by the vivacious and voracious Mae West:

“An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.”

I posted this quote on Facebook as I often post semi-provocative sentiments to see what sparks people and in this case the ladies were indeed sparked (the exchange follows below). While there were the expected comments about how and when to cum, there was an interesting split between the psychological benefits of orgasm versus the physiological, which got me thinking…I don’t even have to look to know there is a plethora of scientific research our there providing evidence as to the mental and physical health benefits of orgasms, just like I don’t need to look in a stats book to know that statistics are incorrect 40% of the time. So, rather than bore you with numbers from studies that have a clear agendas,  I thought I would speak from personal experience…(you all tend to prefer that anyway).

As I have previously discussed, for me orgasms from masturbation represent a form of release that leads to an increased level of focus; they are simple to achieve and result in the release of tension, serotonin kicks-in and chills me out so that I may continue to write/work/think etc. The psychological benefit is clear. However the physiological benefit is less evident, granted I am sure that mechanisms of action are occurring beneath my level of consciousness (I am somehow increasing my lifespan by orgasming), but my immediate impression is often: I am a bit raw, and messy, and my muscles feel stiff…I honestly don’t feel that stellar, body-wise.

Whereas, if I orgasm from SEX…the experience seems to be reversed.

Typically, as we know, sex takes a bit more precursor than masturbation (not always, but at least a little forethought is needed)…and that requires some form of psychological application: feelings, thoughts, considerations…it’s not just you, after all. And all of these expectations can, and often do, create tension:

“Am I cumming? Are you cumming? are we cumming…together?”

However, if the psychological benefits of sex lag behind the immediate gratification of masturbation, then the physiological payoff is much…bigger! Unlike the sore messy state that masturbating so often leaves me in, sex has the benefit of simultaneously exhausting and relaxing every muscle in my body. Maybe it’s the flood of adrenalin or dopamine or whatever, acting as natural pain killers, but after sex I physically feel NOTHING. Yes yes, so maybe I’m a little sore but by then I’ve passed-out asleep so it doesn’t really matter…and sleep…well I can just about guarantee I will not wake up until the morning, that is unless you wake me up.

Perhaps, sex is a case of physical satisfaction and benefit leading to the psychological: “I simply no longer care…about anything!”

And so here we are full circle,

Do women need to cum?

And my answer, as a learned clinician is: Yes…often and in every way possible in order to ensure our psychological and physical health.

xxx Dr. Conchita.

 

Mae West: A Moment for One Hell of a Woman…(& a tribute to her predecessor)

She was never considered a great or classic beauty; she was a hell of a lot more…

Mae West was BEAUTIFUL.

Mae was arguably the first female sex symbol to embrace her sexuality and translate it as subjective, rather than objective.

She was a man-eater, unabashedly.

Yet even in her provocative manner, Miss West always seemed to take sex and sexuality, lightly.

She had fun with it.

Her double entendres became her signature and, I presume, made her masculine-like manner more acceptable to the general public.

This was no victim to her gender. Mae West was fully in control of her body and her desires.

As a child, my mother and I would watch “old movies” on the classics channel Sunday afternoons, and together we saw many of Miss West’s films (she was also a screenwriter and playwright).

She was, far and above, my favorite “black and white” film actress. I loved how she backed her manifest sex appeal with aggressively suggestive humor.

I spent many a Sunday evening donning my mother’s “fancy dresses” and high heels, mugging in front of the mirror, mimicking that slight sneer she always wore.

Reflecting now, I realize that I saw my mother as Mae West:

She was also sexy-strong. My mother was never pretty, she was handsome. My mother never vied for dates, she chose.

Funny when we discover the origins of who we really are, in the shadows of media…only to then realize the true influence was there from the beginning.

This post began as a moment for Mae West, and ended as a tribute to MY MOTHER who always was, and still is:

ONE HELL OF A WOMAN, to me.

xxx c.

Mae Knew How to be a Bad Bitch!

“Whenever I’m caught between two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.”
by Mae West