and scream…xxx conchita
Aaaaand... back to our regular programming. Have you ever wanted to listen to a bunch of friends carrying an informed, light-hearted conversation about everything sexual? Then I recommend listening to the Sex is Fun podcast. While you're at it, you might want to give a listen to their archives right here.
A couple of months ago, the Sex is Fun team came up with a series of questions…
It has been about a year since I worked in the dungeon.
My experiences were, truly magnificent,
Time spent, now representing a collection of moments that at once were both exhilarating and anti-climactic.
I have wanted to write about these moments for quite awhile.
But, something stopped me.
Rather some things stopped me.
One, I wasn’t sure about my ability to fully process my experiences in a mindful manner…understanding the complex emotions of dominant and submissive.
Two, I wasn’t sure what I THOUGHT exactly OF my experiences.
Three, I felt protective.
I felt, and still feel, protective of my fellow dominas (with whom I developed a feeling of real sisterhood), and my clients (who trusted me to handle their bodies with force, and their shame with respect and empathy).
However, time has passed and I want to write.
My desire is to process my experience through my blog, while remaining in the context of “the other”…to detail the reality of this limited, yet impactful, relationship between the “hired” dominatrix and her client.
I would be untruthful if I said I wasn’t afraid…of both my reactions (“I cannot believe I did that?”) and the reactions of others (“You did that?). But life, when it is truly lived, is about confronting and dancing with our fears…is it not?
I hope you like to dance…
THINGS THE DUNGEON TAUGHT ME
We had a uniform at the dungeon. All black leather bikini with garter belt and seamed black stockings with black pumps. This was deemed the epitome of what every client would want form his or her domina.
I hated it.
In the same way I dislike any “rule” that represses my ability to express my fashion sense. I mean BDSM offers a myriad of dress-up opportunities. However, I soon learned the benefits of the (hated) uniform.
One day, a client requested latex.
We were typically told about a client’s “special desires” prior to our appointment, as such:
(in the clippy Czech accent of the dungeon’s mistress)
“Mistress Charly! Please come here! Today you will have Dave. He likes latex. You will need to wear latex. He also likes cock and ball torture and light bondage. That’s it. Oh and just spank his ass a little bit…not too much, or he’ll get bitchy.”
I skipped to my locker thrilled for my first chance to don my tremendously pricey, $800 plus, custom-fit latex outfit…for Dave. Well, really it was all about me. I failed to calculate the…less fashionable, more function, aspects of latex…
The session started as usual with introductions, price negotiation, and a discussion of desires and limitations.
I was ready to go, and so was Dave.
Dave had requested the largest room in the dungeon, with the worst ventilation. The room had a door to the outside, however when this door was shut (as Dave requested for our session) the temperature in the room ranged from muggy to jungle-hot.
I began the session…with spread eagle bondage rigging across the large leather table.
However, very soon something else became very clear:
the tenuous and often oscillating relationship between dominatrix and submissive in a dungeon environment.
Straddling my client’s body as I taunted and teased with all manner of “non-demeaning insults” (at his request).
“Look at you, all tied up! Helpless…defenseless…I…can…do…ANYTHING I WANT!”
But, Dave was a seasoned sub’ and he had chosen well.
Went the perspiration…pouring…from my sexy latex…and onto Dave…quickly turning my dramatic rope staging into a sweaty, slippery mess.
And faster than you can say, “slip and slide,”
I lost my grip and fell, star-fish style…right on top of Dave.
To his great delight, I might add.
The “accident” was followed quickly by a satiated sigh of,
“Oh Mistress, you spoil me too much with your delicious sweat!”
And just like that, I realized who was really in control of the situation.
Later I learned this was a scene orchestrated again and again on “new girls”; a scene with a predictable outcome:
The dominatrix being placed at the pleasure of the submissive, in a way that was quite out of her control.
I wiped up the table and proceeded with the session…making sure I was extra rough when I slapped his cock and balls with the whip and withholding of any further accommodating behavior on my part…still I couldn’t help thinking:
“He’s gotten everything he wants already, and here I am feeling disgusted, dirty and inept.”
And so goes one of my first lessons from the dungeon:
Submission is the only pathway to true dominance.
I could have considered this interaction a failure on my part. I had entered the session feeling in control and confident concerning my skills as a competent dominatrix, and left the session feeling embarrassed and resembling a wet-cat.
Except I also left with a healthy respect for the skills of a seasoned submissive, who grasped the nuances of power and was unafraid to playfully volley that dynamic in the safety of a shared intimate experience.
If I failed at all, it was in my inability to adopt his same acceptance of the multi-faceted nature of power.
It was an important lesson…not only applicable in the dungeon, in life.
How many times have you faced opportunities that require both competence and the ability to integrate powerlessness?
At work, in school, in relationships…in virtually every aspect of our lives that provides an opportunity for growth, asks this of us:
to be strong and to be weak…it’s just how gracefully we accept that dialectic, that determines how we move forward.
Good times, it’s nice to revisit such a vibrant part of my past, Thank you… xxx c.
This is a fantastic film…detailing the bind all lovers face (as in the original), but specifically common issues faced by women who love women…and men.
The scenes depict both the tenderness of the mundane as well as the heat of passion in a way that so very few films actually capture.
Natasha: This is the first time in my life when I look like this at a woman. And never before has a woman looked at me this way.
Natasha: I think it will work better if you undress me.
Alba: I am going to give you the best kiss of your life; are you ready?
Natasha: Alba, this stays here, OK? In this room.
Alba: In Rome. But since we’re here, let’s have some fun.
Alba: If we did not have partners, what would we do, you and me?
Natasha: Do not forget, I like men.
Alba: But you like me as well.
Natasha: But I like men better.
Alba: I know some women who once they were with a woman they never went back.
Room in Rome is Julio Modem’s first English-language film and it’s based on Matias Bize’s In the Bed. In the original, a man and a woman share a night of passion and carelessly-spilled secrets. Modem’s adaptation promises all of the passion and all of the secrets — only this time it happens in Rome, between two women.
This month’s event will turn up the HEAT, celebrating with a LUAU theme…complete with a FIRE PERFORMANCE by Syn!
You know…what I cherish most about these special nights spent with G.T.D.W.G. is the intimacy and the sharing of a space…a moment with women that I can relate to on so many levels. These parties, no matter what size…ALWAYS cultivate that atmosphere…the feeling that you can just be…you…a woman who loves women…on whatever level you like!
See you there~xxx c
Entry: FREE ALL NIGHT
Time: 7pm; 9pm = private play & show…end = ?
Place: Il Bagatto
Entertainment: Syn the firedancer & DJ spins ALL NIGHT LONG!
Drink Specials: ALL NIGHT
Food: small plates and a full service menu served until 11pm
Peep . show: n.
1. An exhibition of pictures or objects viewed through a small hole or magnifying glass. Also called raree show.
2. A short pornographic film presentation seen usually in a small coin-operated projection booth.
Ever wish for a look inside a woman’s boudoir?
Ever wonder what women fantasize about in the quiet moments between night and day?
This Saturday at PachaNYC for Chriss Vargas: PEEPSHOW III (DP Productions NYC)
I hope to give you a glimpse into JUST THAT…a look into the private sexual life of a woman…A bit of PURE fantasy? YES…of course…as it is meant to “set for the stage”…but I ALWAYS pull from real-life…how could I not?!
And so…let me set the stage for you, please step into my PEEPSHOW:
A woman…in LUST with another woman.
A slave to her fantasies, she is led into a space of DESIRE where she is at the whim of her mistress.
She submits…she bends to her mistress’ whims…until…the woman finds her own WILL, and THRUSTS that POWER onto her lover.
The woman explores her desires fully with her lover…trading submission for DOMINATION.
Again they come together…in each other’s arms.
Thank you…for sharing this moment with me and I do hope you can make it out this weekend! Xxx c
Thursday of next week I am so very pleased to announce that we (Seneca of G.irlz T.hat D.ance W.ith G.irlz, and I) will be returning to Il Bagatto(2nd Ave. btwn Ave.’s a & B), our private getaway tucked in the east vil’, for what will be the most SYN-tillating of our events yet!
Introducing a luau theme…think of where you could take that girlz, coconut bras anyone?!? (*naughty laugh*)…we are also bringing our ladies a SPECIAL PERFORMANCE by:
SYN…sensual FIRE DANCER SEX-TRAORDINAIRE!
She is a friend of the group…and you might just be surprised at WHO of our sexy regulars (aka AMAZING-HOT-EROTIC-PERFORMER) just happens to possess such a DANGEROUSLY SEXY TALENT!…SSSssshhh! YOU will have to just wait and see! Suffice it to say…she will show us just how HOT a hula-hoop can be!
As always we offer FREE ENTRY and DRINK SPECIALS all night…and DJ-Lollipop (for those that KNOW) will be on-hand keeping us moving. Not to mention our very favorite and simply delectable bartender Michelle will be back to pour our us those shots…just the way we like em!
So please…join us this month and every month…for a night just for us girls!
Tonight…I can’t seem to get cherries out of my mind.
Perhaps, it has something to do with the upcoming G.irlz T.hat D.ance W.ith G.irlz (
) G.T.D.W.G. party THIS THURSDAY in downtown NYC.
These monthly events are so very special to me and this one particularly so. The theme is *CHERRIES* and as always it is a play on femininity, a comment meant to claim woman-ness and at the same time celebrate the fun of female sexuality...”Twist My Cherry”…INDEED!
Anyway, it has me obsessing a bit. Thinking about what I’ll wear, what games to play–the options seems endless really! And naturally, on this day when I am typically fixating on sex toys what better way to express all this pent up excitement than an ode to cherries and SEX! And so, without further ado I present to you…
Cherry Pastease to get you in the mood.
Cherry panties for you, or me, to remove later.
A cherry flavored lube to warm you up.
A cherry colored dildo get the job started, with a vibrator to finish the job.
Cherry flavored whipped cream to lick it up.
A Kiss shared with a…Girl…with a Cherry in her mouth.
Whether you are joining us for the event Thursday or simply someone who enjoys cherries it is my hope that my list of cherries-to-get-you-in-the-mood does just that!