Truth #22

Reblogged from My Mind to Your Mind:

Have you ever cheated on someone before?

I suppose this one would have to come up at some point. With the nature of the things I write and the questions about monogamy etc I imagine it was inevitable. So here comes the not so surprising truth.

Yes. Yes I have. To be honest my first ever experience was under the surprisingly exhilarating cloud of cheating.

Read more… 330 more words

I recently read a blog (re-blogged above) addressing the issue of cheating, without getting into details, the crux was:

Because I don’t feel guilt/disgust/shame, and “should”, I am somehow bad/wrong (“sociopath” is the word that was actually used).

So, considering that the majority of us have both cheated and been cheated-on…is it any wonder that probably more than a few of us have cultivated an apathetic attitude concerning the whole scenario? And if so, why?

I have a few guesses.

One, I think that we live in a society that both accepts and maybe even encourages cheating…it’s become almost a “part” of one’s modern relationship:

We all know not to ask what our significant other is up-to when not with us during those critical first three to four months of a new relationship when we likewise don’t want them to know what we are up to.

I would also add that the rises of alt/poly/swinger/fuck-buddy relationship statuses are simply an adaptation to what is reality:

It’s not cheating if we agree on it.

As someone who has engaged in these alternative-type romantic scenarios, which I would argue are a healthier approach to infidelity than simply turning the other cheek; I have found that honesty is still key to creating and maintaining a love relationship.

I am not saying people won’t ever cheat in alt-relationships, or in fact that I won’t ever cheat…I guess I am saying, accept reality and adapt. If that means alt partnering ok, if that means walking away when you are cheated on great, if it means taking responsibility when you are the cheater all right. Just don’t sink into apathy either because you “should feel bad” and don’t or because you just don’t want to explore the alternative (feeling)…Why? Well because you…him…her…us…we are all better than that.

xxx c.

On Failure…

There has been so much written on FAILURE…so many great thinkers, philosophers, psychologists, businessmen, artists have chimed-in on the subject of what has come to be defined as: the state or condition of not meeting intended objectives or goals (Wikipedia). Basically everyone from every walk of life who has put themselves “out there” in some measure has experienced failure…and more often then not those that claim the greatest success have also had to own the most disappointment.

I KNOW THIS.

And yet…it’s hard, damnit!

It is hard to loosen one’s grip on hard earned desires…to actually welcome failure…with grace, even!

I suppose, currently I am at what one might term, a crux in life…and with that intermediary position…I find myself accepting much more failure than success.

It is NOT fun.

It is necessary.

And so…I sit…getting past my most recent let-down…allowing it to roll-off-my-back and into my garbage can of:

Not enough experience

Too much experience

Not the right experience

I am fondly referring to this place of refuse as my personal ass-crack of missed opportunities…catchy descriptive I think.

And yet, it is not as if I am without success and love…not the ambition and the knowledge to back it up.

So I sit…finding myself in-between, once again…as a consequence of both personal-life choices and simple right-time/right-place continuity…and I listen…I listen to the words of others that know…like this advice from a close and successful business associate and good friend:

There is nothing that can stop me from doing what I want, I really feel like that.  And I try to instill that confidence, motivation, and relentlessness in the people around me by never accepting the status quo, or from being satisfied with “now.”  Forget about here…we need to be “there”. I literally have gone through tons of disappointments, failures, personal and professional losses, it is the reason why I won’t fail.  I’m a great salesman and negotiator (now) because I never let the last lost sale affect the potential next new win.

I know that acknowledging momentary failure is not the same as accepting complete failure…and I can smile, take out the trash (so to speak)…and begin again.

 

 

 

 

Enjoy your weekend,

xxx c.