Michael was short in stature, almost stout; a muscular and attractive man in his 30’s. When I walked into the room he was already naked, which is not typical for clients. Typically, a client discusses what they would like to experience with their domina prior to disrobing. But, there he was, naked…on his knees…DOG COLLAR already donned…staring up at me with the palest, most innocent, blue eyes I have ever beheld.
“Good evening, Mistress.”
It was a typical greeting from slaves and to be honest while indulging in such intimate scenes with strangers, I enjoy the formality.
I knew the scenario with Michael.
He wanted a role-play where he was the “cuckold” (his word) and I was the diva-like Mistress who treated him like a dog (quite literally) and only allowed him to grovel at her feet…if he was very obedient.
Cuckold, defined: Historically referred to a man with an adulterous wife. Derives from the cuckoo bird, alluding to the alleged habit of the female bird in changing its mate frequently and authentic practice of laying its eggs in other nests within its community. In medieval literature, the “kukewold” was almost universally scorned instead of the adulterous wife, in a sense much like the 1980′s nerd (but without the intellectual ability), they were viewed as worthless due to their physical stature and somehow at fault for the adulterous act.
It was a unique scene, not because of the elements they were common enough, because of Michael and what he brought, of himself, to the scene.
As the session began he related the painful details of watching me, and my (imagined) boyfriend, have sex. Michael loved to demean himself, assuring me when prompted,
“Oh no Mistress I could never have sex with you. You are too beautiful and powerful. And my cock is so small you would never want it.”
Of course these statements were relayed even as he “fed” me his true desires.
It was always interesting to me how, in the dungeon, we were the true servants enacting the slaves’ desires. It was their game, not ours. We only hit them as hard as they wanted. There were a few, of course, that after a time would surrender to you. I feel as if Michael could have become one of those had I sessioned with him over the course of time and built up trust (the foundation of all good dom-sub relationships).
Still, I enjoyed the freedom allowed even within his specific framework. I have always enjoyed a running dialogue with a well-engaged client and Michael’s banter was rich; he seemed to have no end to the ways in which he “snuck” and saw my well-endowed boyfriend and I make love…
“I saw you from the window. I know you told me I shouldn’t spy, but I couldn’t help but watch you two. You so beautiful and him so large…the way he ramped into you…the screams of your orgasm…”
He seemed to get lost in his own fantasy.
I have to admit his lengthy lascivious details turned me on during the session, combine that with foot worship that included a massage and it was rather satisfying for both parties, I would say.
Then would come the training.
Michael never wanted much physical punishment throughout the session, it was always much more about psychological dominance:
“That’s right My Pet, you are correct you will never touch or fuck me the way that he can and does because you are no better than a fucking dog! Now do as you’re told, down on the floor! Silence! If you obey perhaps I’ll let you touch…my feet!”
The exception was during training, when he would request light whipping and spanking as one might a dog–quite literally: dog-training.
We worked on, “sit,” and “stay,” and the room that we utilized what equipped with a cage large enough for a human which he would lay in for a time during the session, feigning reproach.
It tickled me when he would disobey, clearly desiring the repercussions.
And yet he embodied the wounded, damaged, wanting cuckold so well…I found it difficult to properly punish him.
I found myself wondering why this scenario? He enacted it many times with different mistresses with only slight variations on the main theme reported.
Had he been a cuckold? Had some former lover cheated on him, withholding her sexual favors, and stamping him forever with this unrequited desire? Was this self-inflected punishment for his homosexual desires (he was always very graphic when describing my lovers cock)?
These interpretations seemed far too simple. Rather I imagined this was more oedipal, whether or not Michael knew the origin, I don’t know…but those baby blue eyes always engendered a feeling of nurturing in me, as they stared-up “wanting” and “NOT wanting,” simultaneously…or rather believing to be undeserving.
I was his mother, the perfectly unattainable, task-mistress…allowing him to serve and titillate yet never really consummate or satisfy…the ultimate tease.
Even the way he came to orgasm was sad and appeared to be unfulfilling:
Rubbing against the floor, rather violently, at my feet…seemingly uncomfortable and truly desiring my touch.
As deviant as the scene sounds it’s also highly relatable.
I believe we all hold ideas and beliefs that keep us “collared,” if you will. Unrequited wishes and desires that must remain so, due to the shame or aberration we attach to them. Whether they are collars applied by society, our experience…ultimately they are constructed by us…we dictate our own restraints.
Don’t get me wrong…restraints can be good; necessary even…but sometimes it’s interesting to wonder about their origin and impact on us, and our relationships.
For instance, do you think Michael was able to find satisfaction WITHOUT HIS COLLAR? I do not…I think that’s why he returned to the dungeon to enact this scene so frequently:
He required the collar to attain pleasure. It was only through the act restraint that he found satisfaction.
But was there more?
Was Michael, in fact, keeping himself from experiencing real pleasure?
Is this so different from some of the emotional boundaries we erect in our own lives? Expressions of our desires held in check, collared, our expectations of fulfillment never quite reached, perhaps due to our less “acceptable” needs not ever being given thorough exploration?
This was me, in my 20’s…and only in my 30’s did I finally throw-off my collar…only to realize…maybe I enjoyed a different collar…not the emotional-sort …no, no…rather of the hard-leather and spike variety!
Isn’t it interesting how through deviance, we all too often get at the true desires and needs of the human soul?
Now…Don’t think I forgot about your TOYS! I knew Katerina’s Closet (click the hyper link below to go to the website) would have something for us, it is Thrilling Thursday after all and so I will offer you a Sex-Toy Treat:
This one was my pick…someone actually stole my last collar (shocking I know)
Fetish Fantasy Extreme Leash and Collar ($78.75 now $61.29)
Description: Take your pet play to the extreme with the Fetish Fantasy Extreme Heavy Duty Leash & Collar set. This industrial grade collar and leash is made from high-quality genuine leather and made to play hard. Have your submissive begging for more and obeying your every command! The thick metal chain connects to a metal clip, which connects to a solid metal D-ring. The collar attaches in the back with a leather strap and metal eyelets and buckle, ensuring your favorite pet won’t try to run away any time soon. One size fits most. Material: Leather
Until our next session…I hope you’ll take a look at your collar, maybe trade it in for a new less restraining variety, perhaps?
Now…bow down so I can leash you up!
All images are credited to ForTraDVD.com and M.Wild Photography