Wet Wednesday: Time To Strap ONE On!

Yes it’s Wet Wednesday, and this week I want to talk about strap-ons.

If you have ever used one, or had one used on you (I have experienced both, see my personal experience in my 1st adult film above), you know that often they seem an exercise in pure futility.

Too small.

Too big.

Too awkward.

Too much movement.

And I get it, it’s a large phallus strapped onto a body that is NOT anatomically  built for a phallus, and as such:

IT DOESN’T FIT!

And yet, I never seem to give up.

I continue to use strap-ons and request their use on, or in, me. So, it’s only fair that I review a few here.

Some of the first I tried were rudimentary, with plastic straps, either too rigid or too soft, neither of which feels very pleasant. (In my first film I had to take 6 Advil after my scene it hurt so badly.)

I tried one, that had so much potential. It was a rabbit style strap-on and did all sorts of fancy tricks…vibrating, twirling, twisting beads; however, it was so bulky and awkward and I was at least 6 inches from my partner, separated by a gigantic battery pack. Needless to say, this strap-on experience was not a great success.

Although I have to admit this newer model from Katerina’s Closet .com  is definitely an upgrade. If you decide to pick one up, or have used this one before let me know. It seems some important changes have been made, mainly concerning the bulk and stability issues:

(remember just click the hyper link to go directly to the item’s page)

Strap-on Power Cock with Rabbit was $56.59, save over 19% NOW at $45.29

From the early models I would say the most consistently successful, for me, was the classic…STRAP-ON

Like the Fetish Fantasy ($37.99 at Katerina’s):

Great for giving-it (hard) to a guy…but again lacking some of the maneuverability that a woman’s parts require.

And so I continued my quest and more recently came to…

A design especially designed with two female partners in mind and promising great things (in all of the reviews). It features a vibrating butterfly for the “giver” and a large vibrating cock for the “getter”…It had great potential.

Picture the Honey Sucker Bee Strap-on Vibe ($44.49)

(which incidentally is a great vibrator on it’s own)

With a HUGE vibrator attached to the end of it.

Not only was there a problem of shear balance, the butterfly portion didn’t have a strong enough vibe (for her) and the straps…THE STRAPS ARE THIN ELASTIC?!?

This seems like an epic fail for such an all-inclusive product. Also the slant of the phallus seemed off, so that in the end my partner (who was “giving”) was manually holding the butterfly portion and fucking me…which was great for me…but seemed to miss the point of a product that professes, “pleasure for both.”

However, despite all of my failures…I have not abandoned my quest, just yet.

Katerina’s closet recently sent me a NEW version to test, and…I must say I have high hopes (again), and here’s why:

The Wireless Power Harness 2 (Was $79.54, now $61.99; you save 22%)

Product Details: Waterproof. Our versatile Wireless Power Harness now available with a dual density, maintenance-free, life-like, tapered Pure Skin dong. Patented self-contained motor. 3 powerful speeds with push button control. Fully adjustable tush and waist straps (up to 40″/120cm). Secure snaps. Pure Skin/TPR (dong) ABS (base) Nylon (straps). 4.75″x 1.75″/12cm x 4cm (dong).

The vibration – strong enough to please both partners.

The size – yes, it matters. And the material is all soft and velvet-like!

And most importantly,

The FIT –

the styling, wide straps with a well-affixed large front-piece, allows for a more natural stroke and promises an experience that is altogether more stable and pleasurable for both parties involved, or at least that’s the idea.

Now…I just need to find SOMEONE to try it out on…

xxx c.

Lessons From The Dungeon: #1 “You have to be weak, before you’re strong”

It has been about a year since I worked in the dungeon.

My experiences were, truly magnificent,

And freakish,

And enduring,

And…disgusting.

Time spent, now representing a collection of moments that at once were both exhilarating and anti-climactic.

I have wanted to write about these moments for quite awhile.

But, something stopped me.

Rather some things stopped me.

One, I wasn’t sure about my ability to fully process my experiences in a mindful manner…understanding the complex emotions of dominant and submissive.

Two, I wasn’t sure what I THOUGHT exactly OF my experiences.

Three, I felt protective.

I felt, and still feel, protective of my fellow dominas (with whom I developed a feeling of real sisterhood), and my clients (who trusted me to handle their bodies with force, and their shame with respect and empathy).

However, time has passed and I want to write.

My desire is to process my experience through my blog, while remaining in the context of “the other”…to detail the reality of this limited, yet impactful, relationship between the “hired” dominatrix and her client.

I would be untruthful if I said I wasn’t afraid…of both my reactions (“I cannot believe I did that?”) and the reactions of others (“You did that?). But life, when it is truly lived, is about confronting and dancing with our fears…is it not?

I hope you like to dance…

THINGS THE DUNGEON TAUGHT ME

LESSON 1.

We had a uniform at the dungeon. All black leather bikini with garter belt and seamed black stockings with black pumps. This was deemed the epitome of what every client would want form his or her domina.

I hated it.

In the same way I dislike any “rule” that represses my ability to express my fashion sense. I mean BDSM offers a myriad of dress-up opportunities. However, I soon learned the benefits of the (hated) uniform.

One day, a client requested latex.

We were typically told about a client’s “special desires” prior to our appointment, as such:

(in the clippy Czech accent of the dungeon’s mistress)

“Mistress Charly! Please come here! Today you will have Dave. He likes latex. You will need to wear latex. He also likes cock and ball torture and light bondage. That’s it. Oh and just spank his ass a little bit…not too much, or he’ll get bitchy.”

I skipped to my locker thrilled for my first chance to don my tremendously pricey, $800 plus, custom-fit latex outfit…for Dave. Well, really it was all about me. I failed to calculate the…less fashionable, more function, aspects of latex…

The session started as usual with introductions, price negotiation, and a discussion of desires and limitations.

I was ready to go, and so was Dave.

Dave had requested the largest room in the dungeon, with the worst ventilation. The room had a door to the outside, however when this door was shut (as Dave requested for our session) the temperature in the room ranged from muggy to jungle-hot.

I began the session…with spread eagle bondage rigging across the large leather table.

However, very soon something else became very clear:

the tenuous and often oscillating relationship between dominatrix and submissive in a dungeon environment.

Straddling my client’s body as I taunted and teased with all manner of “non-demeaning insults” (at his request).

“Look at you, all tied up! Helpless…defenseless…I…can…do…ANYTHING I WANT!”

But, Dave was a seasoned sub’ and he had chosen well.

DRIP.

DRIP.

DRIP.

Went the perspiration…pouring…from my sexy latex…and onto Dave…quickly turning my dramatic rope staging into a sweaty, slippery mess.

And faster than you can say, “slip and slide,”

I lost my grip and fell, star-fish style…right on top of Dave.

To his great delight, I might add.

The “accident”  was followed quickly by a satiated sigh of,

“Oh Mistress, you spoil me too much with your delicious sweat!”

And just like that, I realized who was really in control of the situation.

Later I learned this was a scene orchestrated again and again on “new girls”; a scene with a predictable outcome:

The dominatrix being placed at the pleasure of the submissive, in a way that was quite out of her control.

I wiped up the table and proceeded with the session…making sure I was extra rough when I slapped his cock and balls with the whip and withholding of any further accommodating behavior on my part…still I couldn’t help thinking:

“He’s gotten everything he wants already, and here I am feeling disgusted, dirty and inept.”

And so goes one of my first lessons from the dungeon:

Submission is the only pathway to true dominance.

I could have considered this interaction a failure on my part. I had entered the session feeling in control and confident concerning my skills as a competent dominatrix, and left the session feeling embarrassed and resembling a wet-cat.

Except I also left with a healthy respect for the skills of a seasoned submissive, who grasped the nuances of power and was unafraid to playfully volley that dynamic in the safety of a shared intimate experience.

If I failed at all, it was in my inability to adopt his same acceptance of the multi-faceted nature of power.

It was an important lesson…not only applicable in the dungeon, in life.

How many times have you faced opportunities that require both competence and the ability to integrate powerlessness?

At work, in school, in relationships…in virtually every aspect of our lives that provides an opportunity for growth, asks this of us:

to be strong and to be weak…it’s just how gracefully we accept that dialectic, that determines how we move forward.

Good times, it’s nice to revisit such a vibrant part of my past, Thank you… xxx c.