“Adults understand that good sex, with or without contraception, goes deeper than pleasure. It is complex and demanding. And pleasure isn’t necessarily a part of it. Any human encounter requiring honesty and surrender has the potential for both revelation and pain. The communication, healing, and strengthening that good sex ensures is foundational to a marriage. Pure pleasure the point of the act? What is Fr. Landry talking about?”
From the following blog…
Sure…Brooke was sexy in her Calvins, she was also only 14 years old. And so goes the constant dialectic for women:
Madonna-Whore
A woman is forced to be either a saint or a sinner, but never JUST a WOMAN…or stated more comprehensively:
EVERYTHING A WOMAN IS.
Today is DENIM DAY, after a landmark case in Italy involving an 18-year old girl is picked up by her married 45-year old driving instructor for her very first lesson. He takes her to an isolated road, pulls her out of the car, wrestles her out of one leg of her jeans and forcefully rapes her. Threatened with death if she tells anyone, he makes her drive the car home.
Later that night she tells her parents, and they help and support her to press charges. The perpetrator gets arrested and is prosecuted. He is convicted of rape and sentenced to jail. He appeals the sentence. The case makes it’s all the way to the Italian Supreme Court. Within a matter of days the case against the driving instructor is overturned, dismissed, and the perpetrator released.
In a statement by the Chief Judge he argued,
“because the victim wore very, very tight jeans, she had to help him remove them, and by removing the jeans it was no longer rape but consensual sex.”
Enraged by the verdict, within a matter of hours the women in the Italian Parliament launched into immediate action and protested by wearing jeans to work. This call action motivated and emboldened the California Senate and Assembly to do the same.
Today http://denimdayinla.org/ asks that:
community members, elected officials, businesses and students to make a social statement with their fashion statement and on this day wear jeans as a visible means of protest against misconceptions that surround sexual assault.
I am wearing my denim today…
And my boss just commented, “What’s this all about?!? You never wear jeans during the week.”
And…I told him about Denim Day, it’s meaning and purpose.
And now, one more person knows.
Awareness carries power, so no matter how insignificant you may feel your contribution, one person…tells another….tells another…tells…another…and somewhere along the line change begins to occur.
Think big. Start small.
xxx c.
P.S. we will have a Thrilling Thursday….tomorrow.
There was a lot of response to last week’s Wet Wednesday post for Pleasure Cupz, and an overwhelming call for something a bit more, well…
HARDCORE.
I got you.
This week I take you on a journey into familiar territory (for me)…time for a little lesson in S&M or BDSM, as those in-the-know like to say.
Nipple clamps are essential tools in every dom’s arsenal. Sometimes they are fancy metal contraptions with removable weights, and at other times simple household items like clothespins get the job done. Truly, the world offers a variety of options when it comes to titty-tweaking, but today I will focus on those considered most humane and sensual.
Let me make one more point…WOMEN & MEN BOTH HAVE NIPPLES…and BOTH can derive pleasure from nipple play! So, boys…sorry, men…do NOT let sexism interfere with reaching your full pleasure potential!
Today I was perusing the the webpages of Katerina’s Closet (hyperlinked here) and came across several titillating options:
For the Fashionista, this is the lovely feather variety…beautiful, but in my experience these never come with secure clamps.
As with most pretty things, they are ALL LOOKS and no action!
For those that need an extra CHARGE…electro-shock may be the way to go.
Although I have to say, unless you are investing in something like the Violet Wand (a true shocker),
products that advertise as “electo” typically will NOT offer you the SHOCK you desire!
I even found something for those who desire a little drool…I tease. Maybe. I did a catalogue shoot for a very similar product and the result, as any of you who have ever had in a ball-gag know, was a slobbery mess…NOT VERY SEXY! Unless a little humiliation is what you enjoy, then by all means…the angle of the clamps actually pulls the “victim’s” head down so that the drool drips onto her/his chest…which is visually quite stunning… (I MUST find that image of me…stay tuned for that funny tidbit. Update: I have inserted the images from that very shoot!).
But the one that wins, for classic styling and an overall solid CLAMP is:
The CLASSIC NIPPLE CLAMP (click link for info)
Regularly Priced at $20, Katerina’s has them listed at just under $18.
They looks a bit silly, I admit, but these little buggers truly offer a solid hold on your nips!
Now for a lil 101 on Nipple Clamping:
#4 reveals the secret of nipple clamps:
YOU HAVE TO REMOVE THEM TO FEEL THEIR POWER!
And FEEL, you will…all levels of sensation: pain, pleasure, overstimulated, tickled…and for some, this procedure can stimulate ORGASM - particularly if you time the removal with climaxing during sex…which can be VERY effective…and I can assure you, MIND BLOWING!
With that I bid you adieu, and hope that adding a little tension to your Wet Wednesday is as pleasing for you, as it has been for me!
xxx, c.
Do I contradict myself?
Very well, then I contradict myself,
(I am large, I contain multitudes.)
Studies show that there are differences in “erotic plasticity” between men and women, and more specifically between those who identify as gay and straight. One study (2006, Chivers) found that when people were given shown photos of men, women, and bonobo monkeys portrayed in various erotic situations and were then asked to rate how turned on they were; simultaneously, these participants were also hooked up to a Plethysmograph (an erotic lie detector that measures blood flow to the genitals).
The results showed that the men, both gay and straight, were consistent in both their ratings of being turned on and their physical responses. Straight men responded with a higher intensity to the images of women (including gay and hetero- sex scenarios) and gay men to images of men (alone or engaging in a homosexual act). None of the men responded physically or otherwise to the monkey-sex. The findings basically tell us: MEN TELL US WHAT THEY WANT, simply, with no contradictions.
The women’s responses were VERY different.
Both gay and straight women’s Plethysmographic responses “twitched” ACROSS ALL SEXUAL IMAGES: men, women, gay, straight, and…yes, you guessed it, even when looking at BONOBO MONKEY SEX!
There is an important caveat however, unlike the men, these women indicated a low level or “no” sexual excitement on their self-ratings for scenarios that did not reflect their expressed sexual preference (e.g., straight women did not rate lesbian scenes as a turn on and yet their physical ratings indicated otherwise).
Perhaps these findings are not surprising considering our society’s need to tamp down women’s overt sexual expression, these women’s responses did not reflect their bodies’; but, for me, something much more important was brought out in this study:
WOMEN ARE DEEPLY AND TRANSCENDENTALLY SEXUAL CREATURES
This is a fact that I have puzzled on for years,
“What the hell is wrong with me? Why does nearly everything turn me on? Why does what turns me on always seem to be evolving? Why am I so different then how, I have been taught, a women is supposed to BE?”
In the past, my male lovers shamed me for my fantasies…which I realize were deep and wide in their width and breadth, and even now when I fantasize I am a bit shocked by the myriad of scenarios that seem to materialize out of nowhere and manifest in vivid erotic detail. As a result, I have considered myself, and been labeled, a freak. Call it my scientific acumen, which drives my quest for “true” evidence in any explanation…still it’s nice to have my desires vindicated through “proof”…and yet, sad that I ever felt like I needed it in the first place…And therein lies the origin of the contradiction:
A WOMAN WILL NEVER BE AS KINKY AS A MAN.
Oh touche,
We are THAT and SO MUCH MORE…
We are large and within us we contain multitudes of
DESIRES.
happy Friday, xxx c.
She was never considered a great or classic beauty; she was a hell of a lot more…
Mae West was BEAUTIFUL.
Mae was arguably the first female sex symbol to embrace her sexuality and translate it as subjective, rather than objective.
She was a man-eater, unabashedly.
Yet even in her provocative manner, Miss West always seemed to take sex and sexuality, lightly.
She had fun with it.
Her double entendres became her signature and, I presume, made her masculine-like manner more acceptable to the general public.
This was no victim to her gender. Mae West was fully in control of her body and her desires.
As a child, my mother and I would watch “old movies” on the classics channel Sunday afternoons, and together we saw many of Miss West’s films (she was also a screenwriter and playwright).
She was, far and above, my favorite “black and white” film actress. I loved how she backed her manifest sex appeal with aggressively suggestive humor.
I spent many a Sunday evening donning my mother’s “fancy dresses” and high heels, mugging in front of the mirror, mimicking that slight sneer she always wore.
Reflecting now, I realize that I saw my mother as Mae West:
She was also sexy-strong. My mother was never pretty, she was handsome. My mother never vied for dates, she chose.
Funny when we discover the origins of who we really are, in the shadows of media…only to then realize the true influence was there from the beginning.
This post began as a moment for Mae West, and ended as a tribute to MY MOTHER who always was, and still is:
ONE HELL OF A WOMAN, to me.
xxx c.
This week’s entry is a bit of a spoof. What can I say, when I saw these on Katerina’s Closet I could NOT resist:
Pleasure Cupz Vibrating Nipple Massagers
in Purple
(as if they could come in any other color)
Product Details:
List price: $7.88, On Sale for $6.99.
Make your nipples perk with pleasure with these incredible Vibrating Pleasure Cupz. Each jelly nipple suction cup features a powerful micro-massager that delivers discreet stimulation right to your nipples. Simply place them on your breast over the nipple and squeeze, then flip the power switch on the tiny bullet. The tiny TPR nubs on the inside of the massager tickle, tease and please with every vibration. The bullet can be switched on or off and battery life is approximately 40 minutes.
(Here they sit on my bathroom counter…turned on and just vibing away.)
Now I realize I am a bit eccentric in my tastes, and NO these are NOT what “everyone needs” to own for their sex toy box (you DO have one, right?), rather these little nipple-vibes are an extra…think of them as the cherry on top. At least that’s how I enjoyed them, last night.
When I ripped open my Pleasure Cupz (in purple) and immediately pulled-down my top to try’em out, see above (realtime), I was pleasantly surprised!
I have used a lot of nipple clamps (although I have yet to write about them), but this was something entirely different. Whereas nipple clamps tend to be of the S&M world, these are more like nipple-ticklers.
They are rubber and I assumed they suctioned on, they do look like suction cups, but they do not. You just sort of press them to your nipples (as above).
My immediate reaction was tit-tillation (sorry, had to…it’s punny).
Then, I thought:
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with these? They are pleasant but it’s not like I can orgasm from them…Ahhhh, but wouldn’t they be nice, as a SEX-TRA!”
And so, I immediately geared-up for a masturbation session, nipple-rubbers in hand, and went to it!
The results?
These little purple-nipple-cupz definitely add a little something extra to the mix. And while I admit to having sensitive nipples, I this most would enjoy these lil’ babies.
As a side note, my peeping neighbor must have had quite a show last night…I had a bullet, a vibe, and these lil cupz ALL buzzing while “testing” this product! A woman’s work is never DONE!
Happy Wet Wednesday!
Make sure it’s dripping…xxx c.
I am not sure why this fact brings me joy.
I am certainly not a “man-hater” and often take pleasure in their pleasure, but whereas I think most women feel competition with other women…I feel competition with men.
It’s not that I wish to BE a man, exactly; although, without a doubt there are privileges that come with being of the male-gender…ones that large portions of our society value.
But, I am no cry-baby.
I do not yearn for a penis.
(I can strap one on, if the situation calls.)
No…but I DO want to be:
BETTER THAN A MAN.
I know, I know…in declaring this I am simply promoting misandry, reinforcing misogyny and continuing the tradition of male-centered patrimony that places “winning” above all else.
But, it’s the truth.
I want to be better…than a man, in every way. And what’s more…I want them to acknowledge that I am better.
Sounds harsh, even as I write, but it is honest. This desire is one of the driving forces in my life, perhaps the fuel behind my constant need for achievement both professionally and personally. A shrink (haha, I am one) would say it may be the origin of my desire for women.
“But competition is bad,” you say, “t promotes separation and agression, rather than connection and harmony.”
I hear you and…I disagree.
I think that competition can bond us, work to bring “the other” up, while simultaneously increasing expectations.
You do better, I do better, WE do better.
Sounds like a rosy world doesn’t it? I know we may never coexist, men and women, as allies, per say, but…at least my orgasms are longer than yours.
xxx, conchita.
I have never been a fan of Easter or any of the overly wrought religious holidays, in all honesty. As a child, I recall enjoying my new fluffy pink dress, and DESPISING sitting in church all day, only to be semi-placated by my mothers horrific cooking (no it is NOT okay to replace ricotta with cottage cheese in lasagna, ever.) Despite that there was this idea of family that surrounded Easter. I may not have liked the set, or the script, but I loved the actors. I miss that now, living 3,600 miles away from any semblance of (related) family.
However, over the years I have developed a surrogate family of my own. We don’t share blood; we share love. We are not related; we are relational. And we do not go to church; we preach from experience and exploration.
On this Good Friday, I recognize the religious significance of sacrifice…not between the pages of the bible…rather in the passages of my life.
And this Easter, as with so many in my more recent past, I appreciate both sacrifice and resurrection…of family, as a feeling and not simply a surname.
Love, xxx c.
(all images courtesy of M.Wild Photography)
Some of my very hottest sex-sessions have taken place in the shower. Their nature has run the gamut some were spontaneous quickies, others all night fuck fests until our hands and feet looked like 80 year-olds, still others were almost casual, “Wanna take a shower?” “Uh, YES!”
The image above represents the second variety…and was one of the most memorable nights in my life (no lie)…we went on and on and on…blurring the lines between fantasy and reality, repeatedly…(sigh)…Oops almost lost my thought process there.
Yes, it’s Wet Wednesday and we are talking about accoutrements that might enhance our sex lives, right! And this week I bring you what is less of an adult toy and more of an accessory, the Fetish Fantasy Perfect Position Handles (Available to Katerina’s Closet for $24.75, NOW 17% off at $20.49)
The product description reads:
Turn your shower into an erotic playground with the Fetish Fantasy Perfect Position Handles. Showering with your loved one will never be the same again, thanks to these versatile suction position handles. The powerful suction bases stick to nearly any flat surface – from shower tiles to floors to glass shower doors – allowing you to explore positions you never dreamed possible! Adventurous sex in the shower is no longer limited to the gifted or athletic – with these high-strength suction handles, you can try difficult positions with ease and get the right angle every time. They help with balance, give you leverage and ensure safety when the action heats up. Go ahead, explore your wet and wild Fetish Fantasies!
Now to date I haven’t used this product, but have already placed an order because what’s the one thing we can all agree on about shower-sex, be it good, bad or mind-blowing?
YOU ARE IN CONSTANT DANGER OF FALLING AND BUSTING YOUR ASS!
True story.
In fact one that has occurred more often than I would really like to admit…although I will say I played it off nicely,
“Oh what? NO I am just fine I want to be down HERE, see?”
Despite my graceful excuses, I would prefer a bit more stability while getting soapy and sexy with my partner…s. 
Let’s just say I am a dirty girl!
xxx c.
