I Want to…UNDRESS YOU

“The prettiest dresses are worn to be taken off.” –Jean Cocteau

As much as I adore the pomp and circumstance of fashion, I am never happier than when I am in fact OUT-OF clothing = nude.

But, I have come to appreciate the PROCESS of undressing…the sensuality of the striptease, if you will. If you have ever been to a burlesque show, you know exactly what I speak of.

Burlesque is neither about:

1. The amazing costume (or)
2. Full nudity

Rather, it is about the STRIP…the TEASE.

And there is art in that…hell there is seduction in that!

And so with this new understanding, or perhaps just an alternate interpretation of “undressing”, I invite you to indulge a bit in the transition…from beautifully adorned in that deliciously tight, sexy dress…to fantastically nude.

Sounds delectable…doesn’t it?!?

xxx c.

‘A man without tattoos is invisible to the Gods.’ ~Iban Proverb

A tattoo is a true poetic creation, and is always more than meets the eye.  As a tattoo is grounded on living skin, so its essence emotes a poignancy unique to the mortal human condition.  ~V. Vale and Andrea Juno, Modern Primitives

Tattoos fulfill a need to inscribe the self as an individual. ~ MARGO DEMELLO, Bodies of Inscription

 

Today, people with tattoos, body piercings, and brands are everywhere. They are shown in advertisements, on television shows, and in magazine and newspaper photographs. Even a glamorous toy icon, Barbie, comes with temporary tattoos. ~ KATHLYN GAY, Body Marks

A tattoo is an affirmation: that this body is yours to have and to enjoy while you’re here. Nobody else can control what you do with it. ~ DON ED HARDY, Douglas Kent Hall’s Prison Tattoos

My skin is my canvas. The artwork on it represents something that is very powerful and meaningful in my life. I look at my skin as something of a living diary because all my tattoos represent a time in my life. And I never wish to shut the door on the past, so I carry it all with me. ~ Dave Navarro

Doesn’t it just make you want to ink-up?!

Perhaps something fun to do on the long holiday weekend….xxx, c.

Labels…

“I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want.  If that makes me a bitch, okay.”  ~Madonna Ciccone

Labels, are an interpretation, NOT a determination.

Rise above and CREATE YOUR OWN IDENTITY.

xxx, c.

I’m Gonna Knock You Out!

“Too much serenity’s bad for the circulation. Everybody needs a good RAGE every once in a while.” – Clive Bark, Imajica

Knowing me…means knowing how much I enjoy a good fight. Keeps me on my toes and breaks up the civility of life. So today, I invite you to “stir up some shit”…get your blood pumping…because truly there is little else hotter than make-up sex!

Enjoy…and don’t hit em too hard!

xxx

conchita

REBEL = BE YOURSELF!

“The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion” – ALBERT CAMUS

My (Public) Sex Life

“My own belief is that there is hardly anyone whose sexual life, if it were broadcast, would not fill the world at large with surprise and horror”

– William Somerset Maugham

As I have mentioned previously, I get a lot of support both in terms of the lifestyle choices I have made, as well as for the way in which I have chosen to express those choices to a larger audience through social media, blogging, erotic events, etc. However, there is ever a darkness to every light, and I also have endured more than a little resistance (at best) and hate (at worst) in reaction to these life choices.

So why do I do it?

Why do I choose to put my personal and intimate life “out there”?

Why have a risked career security? Lost friends? Alienated family? Angered supervisors? Enraged strangers? Sacrificed romantic relationships? Incited violence upon my self? Simply to: talk about my sex life…?

Well, I suppose it’s because…I am not really simply “talking about my sexual life,” am I.

My hope has always been, whether I am throwing an event, participating in an erotic project, or writing a personal narrative, to:

Give voice to SEX positive.

Sex, in as many facets as I can…to delve in some of the places that we all too often shy away from…the pain, the complications, the joy, the fear, the excitement, the beauty, the horror…with the intent to remove the stigma attached to SEX. To engender and inspire exploration of what might have felt untouchable, indescribable, and unacceptable before. It sounds like a lofty aspiration. It is. And I am under no delusions that I might accomplish even a fraction of it. But, when a friend says…

“Thank you, for being you…it’s helped me find ME.”

or when one stranger connects to one blog entry, one party, ONE IMAGE and is moved to accept or explore something in their sexual life.

Then…it’s worth it. ALL the losses are worth it. I love my (public) sex life…because you are a part of it…and, I wouldn’t give that up for anything!

xxx conchita.

I do NOT care…

All I ever wanted was YOUR extraordinary mind…directed by that ebullient spirit, inspired by your ever veracious HEART!

LOVE INSPIRES & FORCES YOU TO REACH…HIGHER!

Happy Tuesday, xxx c.

My Work is LIVING…

A Birthday Epiphany

I woke up this morning…overwhelmed by melancholy…tearful actually. But, my birthday is saturday and I am reflecting a bit…well I always seem to be reflecting, but perhaps a bit more than usual. I am thinking about the things I have accomplished and the things left undone…the “WHY” of it all.

In this relatively short lifespan, some would say…I have done quite a lot. Career-wise I have been lucky enough to occupy positions from the fashion industry to medicine…account executive to clinical psychologist and researcher. When it comes to artistic expression, I was never shy about exploring the lesser known underbelly of the NYC sex, swinger, and erotic art scene and I still believe the work that came out of that was thoughtful and maybe even a little bit impactful. My relationships, while there have been a few missteps; have only added luster and depth to my life.

What am I missing?

If I had to sum it up I suppose I would say family. It’s no secret; I’ve written about it previously in my blog, my childhood was not ideal (but whose is). I moved myself 3,600 miles at the age of 17 to NYC to “get away” from family. I was so naive and yet brilliant, now that I look back; there is no doubt in my mind, that move saved my life. I struggled. Oh how I struggled. But I managed to develop into a person I can say, now, I am proud to be. In truth I couldn’t have done it without the love of my friends and partners, who in fact are my family.

People say things like, “blood is thicker than water,” or “family comes first.” I hear these epitaphs, but I cannot really understand…those sentiments have never found truth in my life. I can say that I believe in love: mutual, non-judgmental, unconditional, and everlasting. That does not mean I believe in traditional, static, or defined love…but you knew that right?

Something funny just happened…I started writing this with the intent to talk about how amidst all of my accomplishments I DIDN’T HAVE A FAMILY…A WIFE OR HUSBAND…A CHILD…and yet, THIS is where I AM NOW:

I HAVE SOMETHING BETTER (for me)… I have YOU. My friends and lovers, the people in my life…YOU have helped me be who I am today and who I will become tomorrow. I realize in writing this…I do not lack in my life…I am full of COMPASSION…give and take…and I am so grateful that life has presented me with the opportunity to have and to give…I think, no I know, it is all I ever wanted.

Thank you…on my birthday…c.

When the energy of unbearable compassion is unceasing,
     In expressions of loving kindness,
     the truth of its essential emptiness is nakedly clear.
     This unity is the supreme unerring path.
     Inseparable from it, may we meditate day and night.

–Tibetan Prayer

To FEEL has ALWAYS been MY FOCUS

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. -Maya Angelou

I have been asked, and have even asked myself, what drives my life?

FEELING,

FEELINGS.

TO FEEL.

Since I was a small child feelings were the only thing that really made sense to me, the only REAL and dependable aspect of my a turbulent existence.

Feelings were the key to communication and survival.

At an early age I crafted the fine art of expression, mimicry, and provocation.

Quite simply, I make people FEEL…good, bad, sad, happy, afraid, angry…all of it.

It was probably the key to my talent as a therapist and probably my downfall as well (holding all that emotion is not as easy).

Today, I understand this way-about-me as less of a means to an end and more of an exchange. Rather than “make” others feel, I am more likely to join them in their experience and reflect on their feelings in relation to my own. This is ultimately healthier and definitely more satisfying, for both.

So I suppose now I would not longer say, “I made you feel,” rather I would say:

YOUR FEELINGS MADE ME FEEL, TOO.

Such a subtle and yet important shift.

Either way…I hope you will remember that feeling, as well.

xxx c.