“I Wanna Make Porn! What’s It Like?”: Famous LAST Words

I get it all the time.

From the inquisitive: “Was it weird?”

To the intrigued: “How do I get into it? I always wanted to!”

The judgmental: “How could you DO THAT? Aren’t you a doctor?”

And finally, the disgruntled: “THAT IS DISGUSTING!”

The range is both wide and predictable…and in truth, my answer is always the same:

“YES…it is…all of those things…and so much MORE!”

 

My personal experience in the adult film industry has been consciously choreographed. I was 30 when I did my first erotic photo shoot and 31 when I shot my first film and honestly I do not regret one moment of it. I stand behind the entire process, and the films/videos/images I have helped to create with pride and while I could honestly give a shit about the final product (I can count on one hand the number of times I have watched any of my films) the real reason for my endeavors into pornography was for the…emotional exprerience…the process.

So now, what you have been waiting for, the ANSWER: What is it REALLY like???

It is like THIS:

Like, having sex for the first time with someone you hardly know in front of at least half a dozen people.

(in one moment)

Then it’s like THIS:

The hottest, most intimate closeness you can ever share with another person

(in the next moment).

Why the dichotomy?

How can these two diametrically opposed experiences co-exist? Well let me explain…

Filming sex between two (or more) people is a unique act. It is taking an experience and expression of feeling that is typically “private” and not only exposing it to an immediate audience but also to the wider world at large through mass media. At the same time, in the films that I have done, there was an effort to create feelings of intimacy and even affection between the actors. Now I was unique, in that for most of the work I have done my male-female sex scenes were with someone whom I loved (my boyfriend) which may seem as if it would make things easier…yes and no.

Let me recount a little story…

So I was filming a movie for RedLightTV with a director that I adore and a crew that was swiftly becoming family. The storyline was such: I played a doctor (go figure, art imitates life), with a horny male nurse/lover, who engages in an affair with a patient. Okay so all possibilities of malpractice and ethics aside, it was a fucking hot film to make. And there were all manner of scenes: two-on-one, one-on-one, girl-girl, girl-boy, girl-boy-girl…in all manner of sex acts…we did it all…oh wait and I forgot…I had one scene with my female co-star that involved a strap-on, a rather large strap-on…

So as the scene begins with her and I and we are getting hot and heavy, everyone including the crew is turned on. I was fully into the excitement not only of something new sexually, but also the entire process of being “watched” and “caught on film”…and as I very obviously approached orgasm

 the set had become completely quite with anticipation…for this is the “money shot”…the excitement and tension among cast and crew was palpable because this was THE  MOMENT…and then…*CRASH*…followed by, “That’s it, I am Done! That’s just too much! I am fucking DONE!” announced the voice of my boyfriend of 2 years from the makeup room…effectively destroying the scene…the “perfect scene”.

Yes, it is totally laughable…and after a little calming-down, we regained composure to continue filming…but I think this little story demonstrates how a natural human experience can become distorted when under the unnatural pressure of the cameraBecause THIS is what REALLY happened during that scene:

When I talked to my boyfriend later he expressed that he had felt completely out of control and under pressure to “perform” during the shoot (if you can imagine 7 sexy scenes and NO VIAGRA!) thus watching me express so much pleasure from a “fake cock” made him feel…immasculated and worthless, when in truth nothing could be further from my actual experience which was as follows…

In reality the strap-on was too large for me. I took a mild painkiller prior to the scene and used so much lube that I ended up ruining the prop-bed with “overflow”…while it was a hot scene, and my co-star was one sexy woman…point blank, it hurt. And as I bent over to kiss her during shooting she whispered this in my ear, “fake an orgasm as soon as you can and they will stop filming,” and that my friends is exactly what I did!

What does this tale relate about the pornography industry? Well I am sure many things that I won’t event get into here…but the purpose of its recounting is just this:

Making PORN is…wonderful, silly, hot, sexy, and really NOT sexy at all…oh WAIT! It is JUST LIKE REAL LIFE! Faulted and yet special…it is a moment and that is all…THAT is EVERYTHING. xxx c

3 thoughts on ““I Wanna Make Porn! What’s It Like?”: Famous LAST Words

  1. Pingback: What a Sex-tacular Idea: ForTra-Foreplay Training! « Dr. Conchita: A Nympho Brainiac's Blog

  2. Pingback: This Is What I Mean By: Porn-With-A-Conscience « Dr. Conchita: A Nympho Brainiac's Blog

  3. Pingback: On Toys:::For Adults ;-) « Dr. Conchita: A Nympho Brainiac's Blog

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